Name: Bridesmaids.
Age: Some say the bridesmaid tradition stems from the story of Jacob, who had two wives, Leah and Rachel. They came with their own maids, as described in Genesis 29:24 and Gen …
Yeah, enough of your history already – get on with the story. Well, fast-forward to the present day and a twenty-something woman who was going to be her best friend’s maid of honour has been fired.
I didn’t realise it was possible to be fired as a bridesmaid. What happened? There was a chance she might get pregnant before the big day.
Well, she would have looked even more beautiful in her bridesmaid’s dress! Indeed, but the bride didn’t want her limelight stolen; it was to be a celebration of “one big life event and not two”, as the maid-of-honour-no-longer recounted on a social media site.
So the ex-maid of honour is pregnant? Not even! She just mentioned that she and her husband were thinking of starting a family. That was it, she was out the door!
Not even invited? She can attend as a guest.
Ha! Love it! Bridezilla! Is it OK, though, to fire your bridesmaid? Hitched, a wedding planning site, says it is – “if having that person as part of your wedding party is having a negative effect on your mental health or on your wedding plans”.
Yeah, like considering procreation. The cheek of it. But a wedding etiquette expert called Emilie Dulles told the wedding magazine Brides that debridesmaiding a friend is a big deal that should be considered only in extreme circumstances, such as “when some unsavoury or deviant behaviour, nastiness or bitter betrayal of their doing unfolds during the final stages of your wedding plan”.
Exactly. As I said, like having a baby. Or just thinking about it. Or putting on a couple of pounds.
Excuse me? A Facebook post that went viral a couple of years ago told of one bride getting her bridesmaids to sign a contract promising not to gain more than 6lb (2.7kg) before the happy day. The contract contained 37 rules, including no flirting with the wedding guests and no getting pregnant “intentionally”.
Whoops, then it was an accident. Well, quite. And what are best friends for, if not to lie to and deceive?
Battle of the bridesmaids! Like that movie, what was it called? Bridesmaids?
Do say: “You know what, congratulations to both of you, and thanks for asking, but I’m actually busy that day, whenever it is.”
Don’t say: “Aww, thanks, Forever BGF, such an honour. A contract? Lovely, where do I sign?”
This article was amended on 10 May 2023 to remove some personal information.
