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Louise Thomas
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Influencer Remi Bader has publicly pleaded with online trolls to stop commenting on her appearance.
The 29-year-old social media star, who’s gained 2.3 million followers on TikTok for her candid plus-size clothing reviews, recently opened up about speculation surrounding her weight loss transformation in an essay for Nylon.
In the essay, published in May, Bader explained how she’s begun to set boundaries with her fans when it comes to how much she shares about her personal life online – especially amid an influx of body shaming from users.
“Every day I wake up and realize that I am fortunate to do what I do, and wouldn’t change it for the world. Yet, when you go online and choose not to set your own boundaries, whatever those may be, people get very used to feeling that they are obligated to know every detail about you,” Bader wrote. “Offering up my entire life became the expectation. Viewers felt entitled, and I felt indebted.”
While the plus-size model noted how grateful she was to be part of a community that openly discusses body image, she soon realized that it was beginning to negatively impact her mental health. “Today, I am no longer in a place where I want my body and the status of my physical health to be the main topic,” she said. “That doesn’t mean I won’t decide to share about my body in the future, but for right now, it feels best for me to put myself and my mental health first.”
Bader also acknowledged how critics may argue that negative comments “comes with the territory” of being a social media influencer, but she revealed that the body-shaming had contributed to her pattern of disordered body image.
“Seeing negative comments and messages each and every day about how much weight I was gaining (or losing) made me feel awful about myself and was contributing to a disorder I was trying so hard to keep under control. It was then that I realized I needed some separation between what goes online, and what stays off,” she shared.
Unsurprisingly, Bader said she immediately felt “guilt” over her decision to share less about her health and fitness journey with her large social media following. “Was I no longer fulfilling an unwritten duty by not posting about certain topics?? Was I abandoning people? Was I not deserving of all the blessings that came my way in having this job, if I abandoned these topics?” she recalled thinking.
Bader – who recently split from boyfriend Keyveat Postell after two years of dating – went on to share how documenting the breakup with her online community reinvented her relationship with TikTok.
“With this, and the journey and lessons I learned this year, I am still planning to be my most authentic self online, but I am putting more effort into putting my mental health first. To be clear – no matter what my body looks like, it will never change what I’ve set out to do from the start: to advocate for body inclusivity in the fashion and apparel industries. But for the sake of my own mental health, that’s where I am drawing the line on that topic,” she continued.
“Just because I was fully open about it when this online journey started, it is no longer my entire story. My body shape and size does not determine who I am as a person,” Bader said, before reiterating that she’ll no longer be sharing “what I don’t want to share about my body and health journey” on TikTok.
“By sticking to this, I hope to lead by example in respecting my own boundaries and ultimately, I hope for the same thing I have from the start: to make a change. Even if it’s by helping one person at a time,” she added.
Bader’s personal essay came amid ongoing speculation surrounding her recent weight loss transformation. Following the Nylon article, one Instagram user took to their Stories to claim that the influencer was “ignoring the elephant in the room” by refusing to address comments about her appearance. The user also posted a poll to their Instagram Story, asking whether Bader “should be more transparent” with her followers.
The plus-size model appeared to catch wind of the Instagram poll when she called the speculation surrounding her weight “frightening,” and emphasized her decision to stay silent on her health journey.
“This is a reminder that you don’t owe ANYONE any details about your personal health journey. Especially when I’ve been pulled apart for gaining TOO much weight for the past three years and have been harassed on the daily about it, still am,” Bader wrote on her own Instagram Story. “I’m assuming anyone feeling I owe them some sort of answer for focusing on my mental and physical health did not read my Nylon article I wrote. Please take a moment and do so if you feel that way and I do hope it helps you feel better and more at ease.”
Bader’s decision to keep details about her health journey private may come as no surprise to some fans, considering she previously shared a tearful video calling out “disgusting” comments from critics.
In the emotional clip, which was posted to TikTok in September 2023, Bader acknowledged how she’s received a “ridiculous amount” of body-shaming about “how much bigger I got and how much weight I gained and how unhealthy I look and whatever it is.”
While Bader initially believed it was “helpful” for her to share details about her diet and exercise routines for people “going through similar struggles,” the TikTok star changed her mind following the recent body-shaming.
“My health journey will now be my business. What I choose to do, whether that’s gain or lose weight, medications I take, supplements I take, my workout routine, whatever it is. I’m not gonna share,” she explained. “I don’t know why it’s even allowed online. Shaming someone and the way they look every single day is so disgusting.”
The Victoria’s Secret model also broke out in tears, as she told the camera: “It’s really hard to see this every single day and it’s really not fair to see really mean, mean things. I’m taking care of myself the best I can.”
Bader once again pleaded with social media users to “just stop commenting on my body because I’m doing everything I can to make myself feel better.”
“I’m not going to share anymore with you guys. That’s just my decision,” she concluded the candid video.
