A relationship coach has shared how to spot 'Bens' and get out of the 'Ben Stage' - as the new dating pitfall sweeps the globe.
Sabrina Bendory, 38, says Ben is the new version of the J name - the internet trend warning women of men with names that begin with J - such as James, Joe and Jack.
According to Sabrina, 'Ben' is a charming, inconsistent player who will date you on their terms but doesn't really want a girlfriend.
On TikTok, the trend sees women reflect on their 'Ben Stage' - when they dated men who didn't treat them well - with the name becoming a catch-all for a rubbish partner.
The dating expert says women find themselves in their Ben Stage when they tirelessly chase a non-committal man, thinking they will be the one to 'change him'.
She says the phase is a "pivotal point" in a woman's dating life which she will only leave when she realises her own worth.
What do you think about the Ben Stage? Let us know in the comments...
Sabrina had her own 'Ben' when she was 27 - and as soon as she moved on from him she met her husband Alon, 38, who she has been with for seven years.
The author and relationship coach from Long Island, New York, USA said: "I've always called the Ben Stage the 'damage case phase'.
"It's when a woman dates a man who treats her very poorly.
"He has commitment issues, doesn't want a relationship and doesn't like labels but she puts up with it.
"She eventually hits a breaking point and thinks what am I doing- I am worth more.
"It's a pivotal point."
According to Sabrina, Ben is the new 'J name' theory - the idea that women should avoid men whose names start with J like the plague.
She reveals how to spot a Ben.
She said: "If people tell you he is a player, listen to them.
"Listen to Ben - a lot of the time he's honest about not wanting a girlfriend and you don't want to hear it.
"Look at the way he treats you. If he is all-in love-bombing and then disappears but comes back with a great excuse saying he was so busy - but he couldn't find the 10 seconds to text you.
"Ben is selfish - everything is on his terms. Look at who he surrounds himself with. Are all of his friends Bens?"
For women to escape their Ben phase, they need to look inwards and acknowledge their worth.
She said: "I had a Ben - who is known as Kevin in my writing.
"We went on two dates and he said to me this isn't going to work out.
"I liked him so much and I couldn't accept it as a reality.
"We would flirt and hook up and he would give me hope that he liked me.
"I would get invested in it and he would disappear for weeks at a time, then we would see each other and he just made me swoon.
"Every time I would feel so crushed and hurt but I would go back for more.
"I wanted to be the one to inspire him to commit."
According to Sabrina, she reached breaking point when they went on a group trip together and were both making each other jealous with other people.
She added: "I thought what am I doing here?
"Why am I chasing a guy who made it clear he cannot commit.
"I realised I am an amazing woman with so much to offer.
"It lost all appeal to me, I started to work on myself."
Sabrina's ben stage was her catalyst for true love and met her husband who she married in September 2015 and they now have three kids, aged two, four and six.
She said: "You are what you attract.
"If you're attracting damage cases- it's because part of you is damaged, look within.
"Ben is a big learning experience for us all - if you let your experience with Ben define you tell yourself you're not good enough- you will repeat the pattern."
Sabrina has written a book called You're Overthinking It on the topic.
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