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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Phil Hoad

Please Don’t Feed the Children review – Destry Spielberg debut splices 1970s exploitation with YA fairytale

Emma Meisel and Zoe Colletti in Please Don’t Feed the Children.
Nightmare in the attic … Emma Meisel and Zoe Colletti in Please Don’t Feed the Children. Photograph: Tubi/Everett/Shutterstock

This low-budget horror thriller comes with an almighty directorial last name, but Steven’s daughter Destry serves up precious little that is classically Spielbergian in her debut feature. Forget Dad’s signature childlike wonder; the youngsters in this post-apocalyptic outing – ostracised because minors are asymptomatic carriers of a plague that turns adults into cannibals – are completely feral, opportunistic and worryingly keen to kill. Spielberg’s film is a surprisingly nihilistic, if uneven, splicing of 21st-century young-adult and 1970s exploitation flicks.

After making a break for the border, roving juvenile Mary (Zoe Colletti) takes up with a band of orphans squatting a nearby community centre. Leader Ben (Andrew Liner) is wounded during a botched armed robbery on a service station, so they take refuge in an isolated house. The unlikely owner is plummy, sardonic Brit Clara (Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery) – who stitches him up and deems that what these wastrels really need is a big plate of cookies. When the group wake up imprisoned in Clara’s attic, it should only reinforce rule number one: never eat the cookies.

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