Perrie Edwards has spoken about the feeling of abandonment that comes with heartbreak, and how those feelings are exacerbated by going through a romantic split in the public eye.
The British pop star opened up about the aftermath of her split from Zayn Malik, whom she dated when they first shot to fame in their respective groups, Little Mix and One Direction.
Edwards, 32, was in a relationship with Malik, 33, from 2011 until 2015, splitting two years after announcing their engagement.
In an appearance on Jamie Laing’s Great Company podcast, the solo artist shared that one of the hardest parts of fame was having to live out her personal life under the glare of the spotlight.
“I think our personal lives being everywhere,” she said. “Like that was a lot. And it was a lot to deal with because it wasn’t normal.”
Seemingly referring to her split with Malik, she joked that listeners would “hate me” for resurfacing the subject.
“When you go through heartbreak, it is hellish,” she continued. “It’s the worst thing in the world. You can’t eat. You can’t sleep. You feel horrendous.
“You feel abandoned and you don’t feel good enough and you feel like you’ve been left for something better or whatever it is.”
What made things even worse, Edwards said, was feeling “like the world was then looking at me, laughing at me”.
“Not my fans,” she clarified. “My fans were like, ‘we love you, we’ll fight your corner no matter what.’ But I felt embarrassed. I felt horrified. It was awful.”
Laing asked Edwards how she managed to “stay sane” through all of that.
“I didn’t,” she answered. “I had serious breakdowns… because it wasn’t just the heartbreak I was dealing with everybody looking at me and I felt ridiculed, I just couldn’t cope with it.”
“I hated it,” she said. “I was breaking down in performances, which isn’t like me at all. I was breaking down. I was crying constantly. I think I was depressed.”
Commenting on the people who might ask her to stop discussing it, Edwards said “it really affected me”.
“When you’re the one left behind, that’s when it’s hard because it’s like, ‘Oh s***, they’ve left me for someone more beautiful than me, someone better than me.
“Whatever it is, that’s how it felt at the time,” she said. “And then you have a song that they’ve written about you, but then someone else is in the video.”
Malik began publicly dating model Gigi Hadid, with whom he shares a daughter, two months after splitting from Edwards.
Hadid starred with Malik in the steamy music video for his solo single “Pillowtalk” in 2016. The couple ended their on-again, off-again relationship in 2021 following an alleged dispute between Malik and Hadid’s mother, Yolanda Hadid.
Edwards released her latest single, “Passenger Princess”, in May; the track is taken from her debut solo album Perrie.
The full episode of Laing’s interview with Edwards is out now.
