Paralympic swimmer Ellen Keane says she doesn’t want her disability to affect the judges' scores or voting.
The gold medallist opened the RTE One show on Sunday night by performing a lively cha-cha-cha to the tune of ‘Get Out Of My Head.’
She received some positive comments from the judges, with Arthur Gourounlian. saying that her “body language is beautiful, you need to just go for it a bit more.”
But speaking on Instagram, an emotional Ellen said the judges comments about her “stiff” upper body was because she is still uncomfortable dancing.
In an emotional post on Instagram she said she felt vulnerable dancing on the show - but doesn’t want her disability to affect the voting or the judges' scores.
“It’s training my body to do something it has never done before. It’s scary in a way.
“I looked at Twitter last night after the show and I know I shouldn’t of (sic) done it but there was one tweet that said I’m overly confident and people won’t vote for me if I am overly confident.
“It kind of upset me because I don’t want it to come across that way because I’m really not. The reason I am doing the show is because I don’t have that confidence and I work so hard to become comfortable in my skin.
“I’m comfortable in the way my body looks now but I still don’t know how to hold myself. I still have that uncertainty and even what you don’t see when I’m behind the camera and there are photos taken and I literally have to ask how do I pose and how do this look?
“When I’m dancing as well, I watch things back. I’m – not that I’m constantly comparing myself to dancers with two arms – but I am really aware of this arm because it is so present.
“At times it looks so awkward. Like how do I make it look beautiful?
“Those are the things that go on in my head and the judges’ comments on my upper body being so stiff, like, I know this. And it is because I’m still uncomfortable. I don’t want to be on the show to be an inspiration because I am a disabled dancer, I want to be a beautiful dancer and that’s what I want to become.
“I don’t want my disability to ever come into the scores or the votes.
“I want it to be ‘That was an amazing dance’. Like it is a battle for me to make it look beautiful and not awkward,” she added.
