Julian Reid used to drink a litre of vodka every day.
This was when he could afford it, if he was struggling for cash then he would grab a cheap pack of eight cans of lager or cider and polish them all off. He did whatever he could to get where he wanted to be.
Julian had started drinking at the age of 13, by 17 he was an alcoholic and would spend the following six years heading deeper into a life of chaos, pain and darkness. He would use other drugs but alcohol was his big problem, his drug of choice.
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"Alcoholism and drug addiction was a solution for me," explains Julian, who was brought up in Formby but spent much of his time drinking in Liverpool.
"My drug of no choice is alcohol because I had to have it, other drugs I would take if I had the opportunity like ecstasy, cannabis and speed but it was alcoholism I would end up needing treatment for."
Julian is now 42 and speaking from his home in Oxford that he shares with his wife and two children. He's an NHS drug and alcohol worker in prisons and has not touched a drink in 16 years.
Many who fall into addiction talk about drink or drugs causing them to lose the connections they once had with family, friends or work but for Julian that sense of connection was missing in the first place.
He said: "I lost that connection before I picked up a drink or a drug, when I picked up a drink at the age of 14 it gave me that sense of connection. Going out and taking ecstasy in Liverpool nightclubs gave me that sense of connection.
"By the age of 17 I was a full blown alcoholic. By that I mean that I lost all control of the amount I consumed and when I made the decision not to drink I was unable to pull that off."
Julian's story of a rapid descent into alcoholism is one that sadly many in this city will have experienced. Data makes it clear that Liverpool has a problem with alcohol.
In a new report, addiction treatment organisation Rehabs UK has named Liverpool as one of the most affected cities in the country for alcoholism. Its numbers place it in third overall. Rates of alcohol dependency across the city are nearly twice the national average.
The same report draws a strong parallel between cities with high levels of alcoholism and high levels of deprivation. While Liverpool ranks third for alcohol dependency it also ranks third for deprivation.
The organisation fears that as the cost of living crisis pushes more people into abject poverty, the problem of alcoholism in cities like Liverpool will only get worse.
Rehabs UK director Lester Morse said: "Substance use disorders are symptoms of a systemic, socioeconomic type of disease. We cannot hope to eradicate addiction until we treat the deeper issues affecting our society, and until we provide meaningful and comprehensive mental health care to everyone that needs it."
Jacquie Johnstone's life has been dominated, devastated and inspired by alcohol and addiction.
She said: "My mum and dad were just crazy drinkers. They were binge-drinking alcoholics and there was tonnes of domestic violence in the house.
"All my adverse childhood experiences came from them being unable to care for me. It wasn't their fault. Their story impacted me and my story impacted my son."
The only person in her immediate family who wasn't an addict, Jacquie's brother, was killed by a drunk driver in 1992. The tragedy saw her son PJ fall into addiction after his father had left the family amidst his own drink problems.
Jacquie and PJ have now dedicated their lives to helping to turn around the fortunes of those who too have fallen into addiction and alcoholism. Jacquie helped to found Liverpool's first non-alcoholic bar - The Brink - and now with PJ she runs an innovative abstinence-based recovery centre on Wavertree High Street called Damien John Kelly House (DJK House) that is achieving remarkable results.
Looking back on her own story, Jacquie has no doubts the deprivation she and others in her community faced in Liverpool was a key aspect in the alcoholism that surrounded her.
She said: "Drinking is disproportionately high in neighbourhoods like Kirkdale where I used to live. My street was just full of alcoholism, I have at times looked back on it with rose-tinted glassed because we did have a strong, resilient community but I realise now tonnes of people were using alcohol to very dangerous extents if not completely reliant on it.
"What we know is that poverty is completely linked to alcoholism, it doesn't mean it creates it but it absolutely exacerbates it and means that issues with alcohol and drugs are disproportionately high in cities with high levels of poverty. I think it's related to the fact that if you are in a poverty situation, you are stressed and you have increased feelings of hopelessness and decreased self-esteem and a lack of social support and access to help.
Jacquie added: "Then you use alcohol to self-sooth. If you are stuck in a cycle of poverty then the easiest thing is a substance and you feel like you have found a solution to deal with all these things you have been feeling or worrying about. But it's a downward spiral from there.
"It starts out great because Liverpool is a party city, but then you are not out with your mates anymore and you are sat in the living room with the curtains closed, counting your pennies for another bottle of White Lightning. People get stuck in this cycle and something needs to come in and interrupt it in some way.
"We need to give people a community and an identity that is healthy and solid and allow them to feel sovereign over their own lives."
That feeling of agency over his own life was crucial in helping Julian to stop drinking forever at the age of 26. He realised at that age he was heading for alcoholic destruction.
He had previously tried on numerous occasions to stop drinking but had been unable to do so by himself. In 2006, in what he refers to as ‘a life-changing moment’, he was directed towards the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) by a Catholic Priest from Bootle (himself a recovered alcoholic). Julian attributes his sixteen years of sobriety to his continued practice of AA’s twelve step program of recovery.
"One of the great things about the work that PJ and Jacquie are doing at Damien John Kelly House is about this idea of a new identity. They are helping those men to build a new identity," he explains.
"I work in a prison and many of the guys in the prison see themselves as being gym rats. They will use the gym, go there every day, they see themselves as people who work out.
"So if I see myself as being a pisshead, as being one of the lads, if I see myself as someone whose identity is closely connected to his drinking then I am going to drink, so I need to start seeing myself in a different way."
Julian didn't grow up in poverty but as an alcoholic he says he was impacted by the drinking culture that pervades in Liverpool. HE said: "Liverpool is a port like Naples, Dublin, Belfast. Historically there was the idea that sailors are always guaranteed a good time when they step off the ship.
"I remember walking around Wavertree on a Tuesday night and it being in full party mode. We want people to have a good time and when you step out on the streets of Liverpool on a night out there is a real sense of intensity - that's a wonderful thing, a powerful thing, but not if you're a dependent drinker or an addict."
As a recovered alcoholic, Julian is inspired by the work taking place at DJK House. He adds: "There was something Jacquie said about wanting to create that recovery community in Liverpool so everyone in the city knows someone in recovery. Liverpool can become a city that is famous for recovery from alcoholism and addiction.
Jacquie agrees, she believes that Liverpool can become a beacon for the recovery community.
She said: "Alcohol can take hold of communities and can be contagious in a community but it can also be healed in a community. This means people can have a whole new identity within their communities and feel connected with other humans and like they belong."
"Everything we are doing at Damien John Kelly House is to try and create that through arts, culture, sports and human connection. Lots of people in Liverpool also come from a background of having adverse childhood experiences which then absolutely correlates with high levels of drinking as those children become teenagers and adults - it is the only way for them to self-sooth."
On July 1, 2021, Liverpool Walton MP Dan Carden rose in the house of commons to declare that he too was part of the city's recovery community. In a moving and personal speech he revealed that he had twice nearly lost his life to alcohol and spoke openly about his battle with addiction.
Holding back tears on that day, he said: "It took me a long time to admit that I was struggling with my mental health and alcohol addiction. Actually it took repeated interventions from the people that really loved me. I denied I had a problem, I suppressed my emotions as I had learnt to do as a kid and I told myself I was fine."
Carden said that for him, alcoholism wasn't necessarily drinking every day, but was about "losing who he was" over a long period of time. He added: "It was desperate isolation, shutting down my personal life and using a drug - alcohol - to feel better, but ultimately to escape and giving up on living."
Since that point, the 36-year-old has dedicated much of his time to championing recovery and campaigning for better support services for those fighting addiction.
He said: "As a society we have a complex relationship with alcohol and Liverpool is no exception. Its use is normalised for celebration and commiseration.
"For the majority of people, alcohol use does not hinder their lives but we have to acknowledge that there are people who will develop an alcohol use disorder.
"I have met with many people across the city who drink to cope; to self-medicate; to escape. The stigma and shame that comes with alcohol issues prevents too many people in need from seeking help. I want people to know that alcohol dependency is an illness and treatment and support is available."
Dan says deprivation is a "major contributing factor" to alcohol-related harm. "These harms are much more pronounced in areas of high deprivation, despite the fact that average consumption is usually lower in these areas. This is known as the Alcohol Harm Paradox.
"Low income, substandard housing, psychosocial stresses and additional physical and mental health needs are all linked to increased levels of alcohol harm."
In 2012 drug and alcohol services were transferred from the NHS to local authorities, which as we know would go on to suffer billions of pounds of cuts through the austerity years. These cuts greatly impacted public health grants and left drug and alcohol services on their knees.
Seven years later in 2019 the government commissioned an independent review on drugs - led by Dame Carol Black - that laid bare the scale of addiction in the country and the damage done to the treatment sector. It was a major moment for change.
"Dame Carol’s Review was a moment for real change and provided government with 32 recommendations to reduce harm and improve local drug and alcohol services," explains Carden who successfully led a campaign for all those recommendations to be implemented.
"The reinvestment into drug and alcohol treatment has nearly returned spending to what it was 10 years ago. I am pleased that Liverpool has been allocated a transformational amount of money and that this funding is ring fenced," he adds.
The Walton MP says that despite the challenges of the past decade, Liverpool is known for its "thriving recovery community," he added: "I hope that the recent reinvestment will be able to improve early intervention, public awareness, access to in-patient detoxification and support our recovery community."
While that community may be thriving, it is clear many still need to find their way towards to getting help. In Liverpool, alcohol related diseases like cirrhosis of the liver now account for over 5% of the gap in life expectancy in England among men - and over 3% of the gap amongst women.
In 2020/2021 more than 10,000 adults in Liverpool were estimated to be alcohol dependent and approximately 8% of all admissions the city's hospitals are estimated to be alcohol related - one of the highest figures in England.
The city's public health director Matt Ashton says a link between alcohol and socio-economic factors cannot be ignored. "Local analysis shows that both mortality and morbidity are significantly higher in those living in the most deprived electoral wards in Liverpool," he explains.
"When local data is further disaggregated, mortality and morbidity is highest amongst men aged 35-55 years living in areas of highest deprivation."
Ashton says there is a need to "get serious" about our relationship with alcohol, and added: "Evidence shows that making alcohol less affordable is the most effective way of reducing alcohol-related harm, and bold population-level interventions which are less reliant on the individual, and more focused on society as a whole are key.
"Minimum unit pricing of alcohol in Scotland has led to successful and widespread change north of the border, so Liverpool will continue to work alongside regional and national partners in lobbying for things like this, and for alcohol pricing to be index linked to the rate of inflation. This will ensue any impact of its introduction are maintained year on year – and that taxation is re-invested in services for people who need it most.
"Alcohol harm is significant," he added, "and we need to keep acknowledging and addressing this within our communities."
While the issue of alcohol-dependency is clearly still a big one in Liverpool, recovered addict Julian looks at the innovative and inspirational work being done at places like DJK House and believes that the city can now start to lead the way in recovery from alcohol and addiction.
He said: "You have people coming on buses to Liverpool every week for stag and hen parties don't you. Now imagine if you had people coming to Liverpool to get sober. How incredible would that be."
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