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Evening Standard
Evening Standard
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Melanie McDonagh

OPINION - Listen to the mystic asparagus: only Michelle Obama can beat Donald Trump

You may have got the impression that the Democratic nomination is in the bag for Kamala Harris: what with all the celebrity endorsements and the flood of donations into the Biden war chest she inherited. But no. Hold fire.

There is a dissident view. I give you the Asparagus Psychic, otherwise known as Jemima Packington, or Mystic Veg, from Bath, who foretells world events by tossing asparagus onto the floor to see what shapes they make. And, as the Daily Star joyfully reports today, she has declared that the next US president will be... Michelle Obama. “It’s a ballsy call,” observes the paper, “since she’s not even standing”. Yet the spears say M.

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