Let me admit something to you. I spent the majority of my adolescence inside. While other kids played team sports or took up hobbies, I spent my evenings and weekends glued to a desktop computer. Shoulders hunched, head bent with monastic devotion, an early adopter of tech neck and blue light-induced eye strain. It taught me a lot, the 2010s internet. How to perfect a cut crease eye shadow. Quick-fix HTML coding. The astrological birth chart details of every single member of The Strokes. You name it, I learnt it.
Truthfully, I wouldn’t take it back for a second — even if I do occasionally wish that I’d spent a little more time developing outdoors-related skills (“Sorry I can’t Lime to the pub with you guys, I spent my formative bike-riding years reading Teen Wolf fan fiction”). Spending all day on that desktop was like a warm, informative cocoon. Which is why you might be surprised to hear that I am fully in support of the Government’s decision to ban social media for under-16s. From one internet kid to another — I’m deleting the Sims pool ladder behind me and forcing them to swim.
