Gareth Southgate’s problem, it seems, is that he is everything they now run away from. He is respectable. He is reliable. He is consistent. He is sensible. He is patient. He is pleasant. And he is almost out of time.
Why? Because England.
The country that has managed to spend a full six-and-a-half years being the political, cultural and societal equivalent of Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes has got so accustomed to the chaos now that it seemingly cannot stomach the calm. A place so used to being an international laughing stock that if they hear anything approaching quiet they feel like they’re doing it wrong and line up another punchline.
