New Airline ‘Koala Air’ Plans On Starting In Australia, So Will It Last Longer Than This Lettuce?

Just months after Australia saw the failure of yet another airline, a kickstart company has promised to introduce some much-needed competition to the Australian market. Fortune favours the bold I guess…

Melbourne-based aviation company Koala Airlines announced on Thursday that it hopes to take to the skies and provide Aussies with another option when booking international and domestic flights.

After budget airlines Rex and Bonza both went into administration within months of one another, Aussies are back to having a duopoly to choose from: Qantas (who own Jetstar) and Virgin. The Coles and Woolworths of the aviation industry.

For better or for worse. Koala Airlines isn’t letting the failures of those before it put it off trying to break into the market.

(Which is a metric shitload by the way. Seriously, if you haven’t already, check out the Wikipedia page counting defunct Aussie airlines. There are hundreds.)

“This list may be incomplete, you can help by expanding it.” (Source: Wikipedia)

Koala laughs in the face of failure, and has instead vowed to keep its planes (and profits) in the air by offering a “unique niche that enhances the industry landscape without disrupting existing standards”.

Those existing standards being: nobody survives except for Qantas and Virgin.

Unfortunately, at this early stage Koala Airlines has an overwhelming amount of ambition and an underwhelming amount of details.

Aside from an artistic rendering of a Koala Airlines-branded Boeing 737 Max aircraft, there isn’t much more to go on about what routes the airline will offer — or even when the flights will start.

Koala Airlines’ rendering of a flight. (Source: Koala Airlines)

In fact, at the time the company set itself up a fancy new webpage, it hasn’t even finalised securing a fleet of aircraft.

“As we progress, we will reveal more with you and welcome those in the industry who share our vision for innovation and excellence,” Koala Airlines’ website states.

Some experts have warned that this lack of detail is a “red flag”, as is the fact it seems the airline wants to begin with flights on Boeing 737 Max 8 aircrafts.

I think the red flag is thinking your company won’t immediately get screwed over by the bigger fish through dodgy industry tricks like slot-hoarding (which isn’t as dirty as it sounds).

Also a red flag: Koalas don’t fly.

But then again, neither do Kangaroos. Or virgins.

Still a better name than Tiger Air though. (Source: Koala Airlines)

Jokes aside, to anyone from Koala Airlines reading this, you have my full support.

Anything that would add competition to the only three airlines in Australia and help bring down flight prices is more than welcome. If you offer a price cheaper than your gigantic competitors, I’m in.

I do not give a flying fuck about airline food, or how funny and original your safety video is. Just affordably get me where I need to go, without losing my bag or cancelling last minute, and I’m all yours.

But with encouragement comes warning: Australia has seen the death of literally hundreds of airlines.

You are flying directly into a storm, and our nation will not hesitate to scream a collective “I told you so” should you fail.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

[Image: Koala Airlines]

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