My son’s killer and me: grief, pain and the power of forgiveness after a one-punch death

‘That’s the thing about restorative justice: it’s only permitted to proceed once you’ve taken accountability for your actions’: Jacob Dunne with Joan Scourfield, the mother of James Hodgkinson. Photograph: Fabio De Paola/The Observer

Jacob’s story: ‘The power shifted in our first meeting. Joan and her family were no longer victims, faceless and silent’

I was released from prison on New Year’s Eve 2012. I came out with more complex needs than I had before going in: lower self-esteem, fewer aspirations, less optimistic about the future. I was angry at myself and others. I had none of the skills required to communicate, be vulnerable or support myself. I was destined to join the 46% of people in England and Wales who reoffend within their first year post-prison. I was 20 years old with no fixed address, no qualifications or work experience and manslaughter on my criminal record.