A woman has had enough of lending her mother-in-law money after working out that she owes her and her husband a total of £12,000. On the popular forum Mumsnet she explained that her mother-in-law constantly asked them both for money after not being able to budget responsibly.
She said that her mother-in-law earns more money than the couple working cash-in-hand jobs but is paying off debt to a loan shark and wasting her money on alcohol and cigarettes. On the 'am I being unreasonable' thread she wrote: "She earns more than myself and DH [dear husband] put together because she works two jobs – cash in hand – but cannot manage her money for s*** and also pays a huge loan back to a local loan shark with extortionate interest. Daily drinking and smoking doesn't even attempt to cut back.
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"Every month she asks to borrow more, I normally agree with DH [dear husband] that we have to help as long as the small amounts are paid back on payday – they always are. We even took out a loan in my name for her last year which was meant to solve her issues. AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to just say a flat NO every time from now on?"
Mumsnet users unanimously agreed that the woman should not give her mother-in-law any more money and that she's been treated like a "cash cow". One user said: "No every time from now on, she chooses to drink and smoke, no judgement it's her lifestyle choice but she needs to pay for it. She is seeing you as a cash cow or a mug. Stop enabling her."
Another agreed, saying: "Absolutely stop enabling her! She's got no incentive to sort her money issues out when you keep giving her handouts whenever she wants."
Other Mumsnet users were shocked that they allowed the load to get so high. One commenter said: "How have you let it get to 12k? I'd not be lending her anything again and I'd be demanding a repayment of what had already been loaned."
Another added: "Well you're never going to get any of that £12,000 back! You have a choice. Continue to give her your money, or stop (DH must be the one to tell her). But as I say, kiss the 12k goodbye forever."
One user even suggested that the husband was "using her" by allowing her to take out a loan for his mother. She said: "You've taken out a loan for her? You are in serious s*** and need to get that paid off. Your DH [dear husband] is using you."
Another poster described how she had been in a similar situation, saying: "I feel for you. We are in a similar situation but much worse. My husband's entire family lives off us. Three siblings, their OHs [other halves] and children and MIL [mother-in-law]. It is difficult for us to say no but he's the youngest and still has to take care of the entire fam. We've started asking a lot of questions when they ask for money. That saves us from paying up at least two to five times. There's no chance we're getting a penny back."
Do you think the woman is being unreasonable for not giving her mother-in-law any more money? Let us know in the comments below.
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