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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

My ex rang me and now I feel the love for my new wife fading fast. What can I do?

Painting depicting a standing woman in a cloak talking with a ponderous-looking man, who is seated.
‘Don’t stand back like a scientist watching an experiment to see if your wife can regain the standing you feel she’s lost.’ Painting: Odysseus and Circe by Salomon de Bray. Photograph: Alamy

My ex has unblocked my number and she rang me when she found out I had moved on quickly and married someone new. I have been hit by very strong fond memories of my ex and now feel the love for my new wife is fading very fast. This is causing me a great deal of stress. What can I do?

Eleanor says: I’m curious about the process of getting married to someone when there was an ex whose reappearance could derail things so quickly. Does your wife know about the ex? Have you had conversations about the possibility of residual feelings? If so, was it an “even if she came back I’d still choose you” or “she won’t come back so the issue won’t arise”?

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