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Liverpool Echo
Liverpool Echo
Entertainment
Jess Flaherty

Mum wants to ban 'loner' 'entitled' nephew from entering her house

An irate mum wants to ban her nephew from coming to her house after he's repeatedly caused damage to her son's belongings.

The mum, whose own mum has moved in with her since her dad died a few years ago, gets weekly visits from her nephew under the guise of visiting his Nan, but he only sits with her for around 10 minutes before venturing to her son's bedroom. The nephew, who is 22-years-old, will then use his cousin's games console, computer and other belongings.

Things came to a head recently when her nephew broke her son's camera. Now, the mum wants to ban him from entering her home at all.

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The mum took to popular parenting site Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum to seek advice on the situation. In a post titled "[AIBU] To Ban Nephew From My House?" she explained her living situation and then penned: "One thing about mum living with us is that other relatives assume they can just drop in at any time - generally okay as most people know about manners and not overstaying their welcome, etc. except my nephew (22). He will constantly message of a weekend asking what I’m doing and whether he can come round - if I say I’m busy or not there, he’ll ask if he can come and see his Nan - which would be fine, except he will chat to her for ten minutes and then spend hours wandering the house, using my son’s computer and games consoles and messing up his stuff.

"My mum doesn’t seem to see a problem and won’t enforce any sort of boundaries, but will complain about him afterwards. Last week, we were away and my son specifically asked his Nan not to tell my nephew go into his room and use his things.

"Of course, nephew turns up, stays all day long, plays on games and computer - and breaks my son’s camera. I’m furious, and dreading the inevitable text from my nephew asking if he can come over this weekend. Even if I say no, I know he will just turn up - AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to refuse him entry if he does?"

The mum's post was met heaps of responses from fellow Mumsnet users keen to share their thoughts. One simply said: "He's 22, tell him to stay out of your son's room and to replace the camera".

A second suggested: "I would say 'You can come round for a cuppa and a chat with Nan, but you are not to touch any of DS's things or go into his room. We've asked Nan to tell you this before, but it seems that she hasn't - so I'm telling you instead. DS's room is his private space and you need to stay out of it.'"

A third said: "Tell him to replace your son's camera? He's 22 ffs. You need to grow a back bone."

Another commented: "F*** that. He's an adult. I assumed nephew would be one of the child variety. First off he wouldn't be allowed back in MY house until he had paid for the broken camera. I think it's important to note [it's] your and your family's house. Not your mum's. You have control here.

"Your kids also deserve to feel their home especially their room is their safe space. If he can't stick to the rules he's no longer welcome. I wouldn't get a lock for their doors because frankly it shouldn't get to that point. Your house. Your rules. Otherwise he's not welcome."

A fifth said: "Demand he pays for the camera, then bar him from your home until he has grown up. If he still turns up, forget politeness and shut the door in his face".

And another said: "You could fit a door knob with a key lock so your son can lock his room while you're sorting it out. They're easy to fit. Nephew might lose interest if he cant get in there."

In a follow up comment, the mum added: "Nephew is a bit of a loner - Ex sister in law moved him out as her new DH [dear husband] doesn’t get on with my nephew and my brother [nephew's dad] lives 300 miles away. I did feel bad for nephew for a long time, but he is extremely entitled and to feel like he can walk all around the house feels invasive - or am I just being too uptight?"

At the time of writing, 95% of Mumnset users voted the mum was not being unreasonable to ban her nephew from her house.

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