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Bristol Post
Bristol Post
World
Courtney Pochin & Bertie Adam

Mum starts a secret movement for parents who are struggling

For many parents, the euphoria of having your own family is rewarding, but can often be a struggle and perhaps the biggest challenge you can face.

Amidst the moments of joy are ones where you find yourself struggling, feeling lonely or you might be in need of someone to talk to, someone who actually understands.

One mum found herself in this exact scenario, but felt she couldn't turn to anyone at all. So, she had the bright idea of an inconspicuous way of letting other parents know.

READ MORE: Couple's gender reveal mishap as bakery ruins special coloured cake

Psychotherapist and mum-of-three Anna Mathur has started The Mum Ribbon Movement after sharing a heartfelt post on Instagram and it's really easy for others to get involved.

What it involves is easy; simply tie a ribbon to your handbag or your pushchair to signify to other mums that you are happy to help, or to lend an ear, to those who find themselves in a moment of bother, the Mirror reports.

Anna recalled the moment she wished someone had been able to do this for her, saying: "I was juggling three kids down the high street, one was screaming and the other two lagging behind. I felt utterly depleted and was fighting back tears.

"I looked around me and saw strangers, other mums, families, and people on their own. I wished so much that I could have turned to someone at that moment, for a kind word, a warm smile, or an extra hand to distract a child.

"I felt like a couple of people could see me struggling but may have worried I'd feel offended if they offered to help."

"As a psychotherapist working with mothers," the 39-year-old said, "it got me thinking, what stops us from asking, what stops us from offering? Maternal mental health issues are on the rise, and loneliness is a huge part of that.

"I know what sometimes stops me from offering help is that there have been times when I've felt like a failure, so to be offered help just feels like proof somehow.

"I remember dropping one of the kids off for the first time at nursery, I walked alone into a cafe, feeling emotional and knowing that someone in there would understand, but not knowing how or who to talk to. I thought 'I would LOVE to be the mum who helped another mum with an extra hand, some emergency wipes, or some comfort'.

"I wished there was a way that I could say 'I'm up for you helping me, I won't be offended. And I'm up for helping you too, you can talk to me'.

"We look around and we see strangers, yet we are united in so many of these feelings." She went on to explain the importance of the ribbons, which are so much more than an accessory.

"The ribbons aren't just pretty additions [to our bags], but powerful statements of permission. Permission to offer practical help and kind words. Permission to ask for them too," she said.

"In a society that pits women against women, this is a battle cry that needing each other isn't a lack of strength. No, leaning toward each other makes us stronger and healthier mentally. This is an antidote to loneliness, comparison, division, and fear of being rebuffed when supporting others."

The idea is that the movement is meant to be easy. As such, it's no more difficult than grabbing a bit of ribbon - or something similar lying around at home - and tying it to your pushchair or handbag. The piece of fabric will signify that the wearer is either open to kind words and support or is able to offer kind words and support to another.

The mum added that there's clearly a need for the movement, as thousands responded to her post in just a few hours after sharing it.

"The reaction has been immense! I created a shareable post that has been shared thousands of times and achieved over 22 thousand likes in 48 hours. I have received hundreds of messages and replies from people wanting to support the idea through their businesses, communities, and even hospitals.

"I truly believe that the ribbons can help cut through the awkwardness and uncertainty of approaching someone to offer support. Who knows what conversations and connections could occur?"

Do you have a story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email bertie.adam@reachplc.com

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