A mum has defended her decision to pick up her son from a sleepover with a family who enforces a 'bath day' rule, after a fellow parent slammed her decision. The mum thinks she did the right thing by collecting her eight-year-old, who felt uncomfortable and had called her asking to come home.
But she was slammed by his friend's mum when she arrived at their house - as the parent thought the child should learn to respect other people's rules. The trouble arose after the youngster asked to go for a shower while staying at his pal's for the first time.
But he was shocked when the family told him he would not be allowed, since "it wasn't a bath day."
Explaining her son's upset, the parent revealed she normally does not let her son, Jason, attend sleepovers at his at "young age". However, on this occasion, she was happy to leave him in the care of her friend Ashley, who she has known since her son joined day care, where he became best friends with Ashley's eight-year old son, Brandon.
She wrote : "Last weekend I broke a rule and let my son stay over Brandon’s home 1. Because he asked and 2. My daughter was at my mothers for the weekend so I thought me and my husband could have a weekend to ourselves.
"While enjoying some adult time with my husband Jason called me and said he wanted to come home but he was whispering so I could tell something was up. I asked him why and what was wrong……He said Ashley wouldn’t allow him to take a shower because it wasn’t a bath day…….BATH DAY????
"I immediately call Ashley and inform her that Jason needs a shower and if she could just allow him to do so. She basically explained to me that since my child is in her home he must follow her rules (which is fair), I agreed with her and hung up."
Her post continued: "I called Jason back and told him that I would be there soon to get him and just be ready, he was very happy about coming home. I wouldn’t have picked him up if he said no but surprisingly he already had his bag packed.
"When I pulled up Ashley was outside saying how much of an a***** I was for teaching Jason that he doesn’t have to follow other peoples rules. I told her he was uncomfortable and I’m not going to keep my child in an uncomfortable situation he doesn’t want to be in, especially if I can help.
"She then told me she allows Brandon to shower twice a day at my house even though it’s against her rules so again I told her if Brandon had an issue he never told me that and I would’ve took him home if he was uncomfortable. There was some back and forth arguing but i tried to keep it calm since the boys were around."
The mum concluded by asking: "AITA? (Am I the A******?). But while commenters agreed she was not in the wrong, many thought both parents could have responded in a better way.
One person said: "When my kids, nieces and nephews were that age, getting them to shower/bathe was a struggle. IMO if an 8 yo wants to shower, they’re probably dirty enough to need one."
But another asked: "Who showers at sleep overs? That’s really weird. I’ve been to and hosted sleepovers and my sons have been to and hosted sleepovers and never has anyone wanted to or requested to take a shower. It’s 1 day."
However, they did add: "NTA for picking up your kid when he’s uncomfortable but the whole thing is weird."
Meanwhile, someone else thought: "I don't know why people are debating you on showering, that is not the issue. The issue is that they were bad host, your son was a guest and if the guest wants to shower, you let them shower. If you are really worry about water, you tell them to shower quickly and if you worry about the right temp of water, you turn it on for the kid and leave the room."
Fortunately, it sounds like the parents managed to resolve the issue in the end.
In an update, the mum said: "The boys are still besties! Ashley and I set up a sleepover at my place this weekend for them we agreed bath day doesn’t fit my kid and went back to our regular schedule."
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