Re Charlie Brinkhurst-Cuff’s article (I know I want at least one baby. But the more I learn about motherhood, the more terrifying it seems, 12 March), having survived the trauma of childbirth and managed to scrape enough to pay for childcare and a living, there is another aspect to consider: the immense negative impact motherhood would have on your career.
Having successfully worked in the world of media agencies for 15 years, I have now arrived at a firm stop in my career due to being penalised for flexible hours. I cannot physically work 55 hours a week while looking after my two girls.
My husband is a progressive and involved father, but my time is just never enough. The expectation of a job that – even when part-time – has got no boundaries with personal life is even more poignant when the salary is calculated pro rata. We are expected to work more, and be paid less. The advertising industry, as well as many others considered progressive and inclusive, is simply not for mothers. I declare defeat.
Name and address supplied
• This article made my hackles rise a bit. A baby isn’t a possession, a thing to “want”, however cuddly and cute. It isn’t even a baby for long. Two years in and you’ve got a temperamental toddler. Another 10, a stroppy teenager. Then after that, an adult who may blame you for everything that ever went wrong in their life. The pangs of birth are in fact nothing compared with the trials of parenthood.
Being a parent is a serious lifetime commitment to putting others before yourself. Before you embark on parenthood, you need to ask yourself not if you want to have children, but if your potential children would want to have you. There is no guarantee that children will make you happy, and making you happy is not their job.
Jackie Cornwall
Cádiz, Spain
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