Good morning!!!!!!! I don’t want to alarm you, but something… good has happened. Something wonderful, actually. Thanks to Ella Toone’s sublime lob, Chloe Kelly’s toepoke, top-twirl, and subsequent mid-interview microphone theft, Jill Scott’s sensationally lipreadable swearing, whatever cheat code Sarina Wiegman is using, this failed instructional note, this kid, Sweet Caroline, Three Lions, and ten minutes of magnificently cynical extra-time shithousery, England beat Germany 2-1 and won Euro 2022. So good! So good! So good! So good!
Apologies to all readers who don’t support England. Although, honestly, you didn’t have to be a rabid partisan to find something to love about this team, and this moment – which, as a host nation triumph in front of a record crowd for a men’s or women’s international match in Europe, in a country where the women’s game has felt for a while like it might be on the edge of something huge, could hardly be better timed.
