Marrying into a family does come with the additional burden of new expectations. Unfortunately, while visiting on Thanksgiving is one thing, some in-laws take it too far and start to expect that they will be consulted on everything from jobs to interior design.
A pregnant woman wondered if she was wrong to demand her MIL leave after she would not stop insisting on decorating the nursery. She later shared a sizable update on how she approached the fallout. We reached out to the woman who posted the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
Most of us want to have at the very least, some say in what our house looks like
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A woman came home to find her MIL making major decor changes
Image credits: ckstockphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Aggravating_Scar7518
In-law jokes might be tired at this point, but sometimes they come from a very real place
Image credits: Juani Sanchez/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The intrusive mother in law is a trope so old that these days we might consider it a mainstay of hack comedians. There are examples of mother-in-law jokes as far back as Ancient Rome, which were no doubt based in the preconceptions of the time. Indeed, it’s perhaps a good thing that, for the most part, in the 21st century, we see these sorts of jokes for what they are, cheap shots at women.
However, the flip side is that there truly are in-laws who simply don’t understand boundaries. It’s a strangely progressive issue to have, a mother in law who actually acts like the stereotypically nosy and annoying MILs that were part of every sitcom under the sun. However, entering someone’s home, doing a bunch of “work” no one asked for, then repeatedly insulting them when things don’t go your way goes beyond “annoying MIL” and enters “bad person” territory.
To reiterate, commenting on your daughter-in-law’s weight is just horrible behavior, as is criticizing her choice of shoes and then switching to the tried and true “you aren’t going to be a good mother.” Remember, this is the wife of her son and the woman who will be having her grandchildren.
It’s unfortunate that she needs to preface her reaction with “maybe it was the pregnancy hormones” because the MIL’s behavior is neither normal, nor acceptable. The fact that both the internet and her husband immediately supported her is evidence that the MIL was way out of line and needs to check herself before she loses all visiting privileges.
A supportive partner is key to preventing MIL drama
Image credits: Nathan Dumlao/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She later shares a sizable update, found below with some good details. For example, one of the changes she makes is updating the locks in the house and setting up a ring camera. This just drives home how insufferable the MIL must have been, as well as how unpredictable. If a simple “no” would have kept her away, new locks would not have been needed.
On the other hand, this story does also demonstrate the importance of actually having a supportive partner. One main reason so many MIL’s can run amok is that their kids simply do not set real boundaries, or, even worse, take their side in any conflict. Older folks do sometimes get lonely and, unfortunately, begin attempting to “live a new life” through their kids.
For example, reliving the new-baby experience by redecorating a nursery. However, despite the experience she goes on about, it’s clear that this MIL doesn’t know what she’s doing, as the mother states that some of the decorations are actually dangerous. Instead of listening, she doubles down and start flinging insults.
To put this into perspective, when confronted with the reality that her decorations might literally endanger the life of her grandchild, she instead can’t let go of her ego and just keeps pushing. Similarly, she has no idea about the caloric needs of a breastfeeding mother, despite, in her own words, being an expert.
Most thought she did the right thing
Later she shared an update
Image credits: Microstock_Growth / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Nastyaofly / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: nrradmin / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Aggravating_Scar7518
People were happy her partner was understanding
