Michelle Heaton was left in tears live on Loose Women as she bravely shared a letter written to her from husband Hugh Hanley as she battled her alcohol addiction last year.
In April last year, it was revealed that Liberty X star Michelle, who first shot to fame on Popstars back in 2000, had entered The Priory, having seen her drink problem spiral over lockdown. Posting on the steps of the famous rehab facility with Hugh and the couple's two children Faith and AJ, vowing to seize her 'second chance of life.'
Last month Gateshead born singer Michelle who has previously revealed she was 'left at death's door,' by her addiction, celebrated a full year of being sober and appeared as a guest on Thursday's Loose Women to open up on how tackling her addiction has changed her life made her feel 'free,' while also admitting feelings of guilt for how the impact her drinking had on her family when she was at her worst. Michelle, 42, told host Charlene White and panellists Linda Robson, Sunetra Sarker and Jane Moore: Drinking occupied my every waking moment. This is actually so much easier. I no longer have those knots in my stomach and instead I now have this really happy sense of being."
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Michelle explained that while her stint in The Priory got her 'dry,' it didn't cure her of her addiction and she had to learn new behaviours in order to fully break free of it. She said: “Drinking was so exhausting, it occupied every waking moment, so this is easy… I’ve got a really happy sense of being now, and I just didn’t.
"I had no regards to what was happening to my family. It’s shameful to say that sometimes they were in my way. When the kids really needed a cuddle, I just wasn’t there for them… It wasn’t until I got sober and clean could I recognise how I was behaving. And then the guilts come in. Working through guilt in sobriety is tough as well.”
Michelle, who admitted she was still taking things "one day at a time," told the panel that one of the defining moments in her battle with addiction that hit home just how it was affecting those closet to her was a letter other half Hugh wrote to her while she was In The Priory. And, towards the end of her Loose Women interview, she became emotional as she shared the contents of it with the ladies and viewers at home.
Holding the letter from Hugh in her hands, she read: "Watching you spiral like this has personally been very hard to deal with. I couldn’t talk to my best friend which was you. The last three years I’ve watched you spiral and turn into someone I don’t recognise. The strain that has been put on our relationship has been very demanding.
“I’ve been left embarrassed several times by the way you spoke to me in front of people, which was never you - you were always my biggest fan. Yet I found myself being the brunt of your anger and having to shoulder that while also trying to help the kids navigate your new behaviour.
In his letter, Hugh added: "Your addictive behaviour has hurt me a lot 'Chelle, and it’s turned you into a liar - you’ve become someone who’s very untrustworthy. Your behaviour has robbed me of my wife and the kids of their mummy.”
As Michelle teared up and got a hug from Linda, she said, “I don’t recognise that person… addiction got me and addiction created that person I don’t recognise now. But at the time I couldn’t recognise it”
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