Most coming-of-age movies follow a structure. A young, naive character discovers something that changes their lives and pushes them to go on a quest or journey, which ushers them into adulthood and self-discovery. The Goonies find a treasure map, the Pevensies find a magical wardrobe, and Luke Skywalker finds a strange message on a secondhand droid.
It’s a formula that often forces protagonists into thrilling scenarios, but this year one movie proved that the riskiest choice — the one that could throw everything out of whack — is not going on that quest in the first place. I Saw the TV Glow is finally streaming on Max, which means you can watch it on the same device it focuses on so diligently: the television.
I Saw the TV Glow set up the perfect coming-of-age story. Young Owen (Ian Foreman) is a mild-mannered kid who meets Maddy (Brigette Lundy-Paine), an older girl who tells him about her favorite TV show: The Pink Opaque, a Buffy-esque monster-of-the-week show.
Two years later, the two have bonded over the show. Owen’s strict parents still won’t let him stay up late to watch it, but Maddy records episodes for him and leaves the VHS tapes in his locker at school. The Pink Opaque becomes his connection to her — and one of the few human connections Owen has in his life. But when Maddy suddenly disappears and The Pink Opaque is canceled, Owen doesn’t go on a quest to find out where she went. He just moves on.
Decades later, Maddy returns, and Owen doesn’t know how to react — his first impulse is to self-harm. When he meets Maddy again at a club (featuring a performance by Phoebe Bridgers) he learns the truth is beyond what he could imagine. Maddy offers him a way out of his mundane life, revealing that she believes they are actually the main characters of The Pink Opaque, trapped in a reality where the story only exists as a TV series.
In a heartbreaking monologue, we hear Maddy’s crusade of how she tried to return to what she considers the real world. She had to be buried alive, and it was terrifying, but she was free. She offers Owen the same escape, but still, he doesn’t do anything. This ends up being the worst possible decision, leading to one of the most understatedly horrifying movie endings in years.
When we watch TV, we like to think that we would do the same things as our favorite characters. But the reality is that going on an adventure is scary. In the third act of the movie, the real meaning behind the escape of The Pink Opaque becomes clear: it’s not about fandom, it’s about identity and the hesitance to accept it. Owen is presented with the possibility that he’s as different as he feels, but he doesn’t want to be different so he chooses not to think about it. However, in stories like these, the adventure will find you whether you like it or not.
Rippling underneath I Saw the TV Glow is a trans allegory many viewers missed out on entirely. The story of Owen, who relates so deeply with a female character and feels so different and wrong his entire life, echoes the story of countless trans people who aren’t able to come out or even realize that coming out is an option. Director Jane Schoenbrun is transfeminine, and the shots of Owen in a dress undeniably reference some unresolved issues.
But the movie reassures Owen — and the viewer — with one sentiment that offers hope at the bottom of Owen’s box of horrors: “There is still time.” No matter how much a call to adventure terrifies you, no matter how much admitting the truth to yourself is difficult, there is always time to be courageous. It’s never too late.
