Matt Willis has admitted he is surprised wife Emma Willis didn't leave him at the height of his addiction issues.
The Busted singer, 40, says he caused the former Big Brother presenter, 47, "so much agony" during his battle with substance abuse and he will always be "indebted to her" for sticking by his side throughout his ordeal.
Matt, who celebrated his 40th birthday over the weekend, opens up about his struggles with drugs and alcohol addiction in his new BBC documentary, set to air later this month.
The dad-of-three began to struggle with drug and alcohol issues as Busted became the nation's boyband in the early 00s, with the Year 3000 singer checking into London's Priory Hospital for three weeks at the age of 21 to treat his alcoholism in 2005.
A year later, he was admitted again for a few days for drug abuse. The singer, who started smoking cannabis from the age of 13, started having mental health problems from the drugs, including physiological and memory issues.
In June 2008, as a marriage ultimatum from his now-wife Emma Willis, he entered a rehab centre. Matt managed to remain sober after his wedding day, but relapsed during a Busted reunion tour in 2016.
Having been sober again for five years now, Matt has been reflecting on the strain his addiction battles had on his relationship with Emma.
Ahead of his BBC documentary airing on May 17, Matt says: "I was always surprised [Emma] didn't leave me, she's an unbelievable woman.
"I caused her so much agony, but she saw something in me I didn't see in myself, and I'm forever grateful to her and indebted to her."
He goes on to tell Heat magazine: "We move forward as a couple, and that's about making allowance, but I don't want to drink and use today, which is the overriding thing. There's not a part of me secretly that goes, 'I wish I could just have a glass'. It took me a while to get there, but that's not part of my day-to-day life."
Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction will air on BBC iPlayer and BBC from May 17 and will see Matt discuss the pressures of getting famous at a young age, lay bare his lifelong addictions and share his fears of relapsing.
After sharing a clip of the upcoming documentary to his Instagram page last week, Matt was flooded with support from fans and famous friends.
Former Love Island presenter Laura Whitmore told the Air Hostess singer: "Well done Matt for doing this xxx."
Matthew Pritchard added: "Mate, really looking forward to watching this. Fair play for being honest and showing others that there is hope and it can be done. Congratulations on fighting your addictions and staying clean."
*Frank offers confidential advice about drugs and addiction (email frank@talktofrank.com, message 82111 or call 0300 123 6600) or the NHS has information about getting help.
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