Having children is a lot of work! People must be 100% sure before bringing kids into this world. Some folks who think things through decide to remain childfree, and that’s okay. But, even if they’re fine with their choices, the rest of the world can’t seem to get on the same page.
Friends and family members may get confrontational if someone says they don’t want kids, but you’d never expect a therapist to do that, right? This happened to a woman during a therapy session, and she finally decided to reveal what went down.
Woman’s first session with therapist goes awry after the mental health professional tries to “fix” her desire to be childfree
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The poster said when she tried out therapy at 25, everything seemed normal until the therapist asked her about her goal to start a family and how many kids she wanted
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
When she told the mental health professional she didn’t want any kids, the woman said she could fix that and kept pushing her agenda despite the poster’s resistance
Image credits: Maksim Goncharenok (not the actual photo)
The therapist felt that not having kids would negatively affect the woman’s life and her future relationships and ignored the fact that she was already married
Image credits: Anonymous
The mental health professional kept pushing for the “real” reason behind the woman’s choice, which infuriated the poster, and she left 30 minutes into a 90-minute session
Choosing not to have kids isn’t a new phenomenon, but it’s definitely gaining traction now. Around 15% of people between the ages of 18 and 24 say they don’t want to have a child, and 22% say they are unsure. But, even though it’s up to each person to decide their childfree (CF) status, society doesn’t quite accept the idea. CF people are often told they will change their minds, but studies have shown that even people who are 70 and older are no more likely to regret their lives than their parent counterparts.
Bored Panda reached out to the post’s author, who wanted to stay anonymous, and she mentioned that “I don’t tell people I’m CF unless they ask. If they give pushback, I quote The Big Lebowski: ‘That’s just, like, your opinion, man’.” She also added that she hasn’t attended therapy since the incident. That just goes to show that such insensitive mental health professionals can, unfortunately, have a negative impact on their clients.
That’s why we interviewed Arya Prasad, a counseling psychologist and an arts-based therapy practitioner. She works with a variety of concerns, including anxiety, stress, adjustment, and relational issues, and uses trauma-informed therapy and art-based therapy practices. We asked her if there are certain situations where a therapist might intervene or have their own agenda for the patient.
She mentioned that there could be situations like that. For example, “the most important one is during safety concerns. If a therapist suspects or knows of current or future threats to the safety of the client or others in their lives, they can break confidentiality. They must convey this information to the required authorities and client’s emergency contacts. This is also applicable to instances of child or elder abuse.” It seems like it’s only during extreme cases that a therapist may intervene, not to fix someone’s “childfreedom.”
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 (not the actual photo)
Many mental health professionals also state that a client’s choices and behaviors are not something a therapist should have a vote on. The patient also shouldn’t be modifying their choices or doing things just to please their therapist. That’s why it makes no sense that this counselor kept pushing her agenda onto the patient even after she was met with resistance.
Arya threw light on the situation by stating that “the therapist was not correct in telling the woman that being childfree was wrong. Therapists must prevent their subjective views from coming into the therapeutic relationship. Moreover, it is the therapist’s responsibility to respect the views of the client. It is important to understand what clients are saying and why they are saying it in the first place. Clients have their belief systems for a reason.”
“Instead of therapists pushing their opinions on their clients, it is important to understand the latter’s context through neutral questions like, ‘What do you feel about being childfree?’ in this case,” she added. Good therapists are open to the direction you want to take during the session, and it’s a bad sign if they get defensive when you state that you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Whether it’s someone you know or a professional who you’ve paid, nobody has the right to make you feel bad about your choices. Unfortunately for this woman, the first therapist she ever met was way too pushy and wanted her to conform. This made the poster not want to ever attend therapy again. But all mental health professionals aren’t like that, and hopefully, she comes across one in the future who accepts her life choices without judgment.
Why do you think the therapist cared so much about changing the childfree woman’s views? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
People were shocked at the audacity of the therapist and asked the woman if she had filed a report against the errant professional
