Human beings are social animals. Most of us crave acceptance, connection, love, and respect. An 85-year Harvard study found that our positive relationships empower us, make us resilient, and actually lead to healthier, happier, and longer lives. But social isolation is horrible for our physical and mental health. When somebody is ostracized from their social circle or society, it takes a toll and can even put them on a warpath in life.
In a viral thread started by user u/WANACWaac, the r/AskReddit online community shared stories of what happened to the social outcasts they knew and how they got revenge against their communities after growing up. We’ve picked out some of the most powerful and emotional stories, which you’ll find as you scroll down. Though, keep in mind, some of them are very sensitive.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the candid discussion, Isaiah Taylor, aka u/WANACWaac, and he shared his perspective on outcasts, tolerance, and people judging one another. Read on for our full interview with him.
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Image credits: Author_Story_Teller
According to Psychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D., accepting other people doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with them or approve of them. However, as he explains, “you can simply let people be” and accept that they exist as they are, not as you’d like them to be.
“You may not like it, you may not prefer it, you may feel sad or angry about it, but at a deeper level, you are at peace with it. That alone is a blessing. And sometimes, your shift to acceptance can help things get better,” Hanson explains.
Meanwhile, Psychologist Kipling D. Williams claims that ostracism is an invisible form of abuse. Ostracized individuals tend to go through three stages. They first feel pain, then they enter the ‘coping’ stage, which is followed by ‘resignation.’ The latter is when someone gives up after becoming depressed and feels helpless to change anything.
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People are often paradoxical. On the one hand, they’re often warm, kind, friendly, and welcoming. On the other hand, they’re extremely quick to judge others based on initial impressions. Not only that, but they might push someone away because they’re slightly different than them.
Ostracism can happen due to a variety of reasons. Broadly speaking, people tend to judge others when there’s a mismatch in values, behavior, status, or even appearance. Someone who was born out of wedlock or lives in a poorer household might be pushed away in their community, which can breed resentment, frustration, and anger over the long term.
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Social isolation increases the risk of serious health problems. It increases the risk of dementia by a whopping 50%, heart disease by 29%, and stroke by 32%. Not only that, but socially isolated individuals are more prone to developing depression and anxiety, diabetes, and issues with substance abuse.
The CDC reports that more than 1 in 3 American adults who are aged 45 and over feel lonely. People more at risk of social isolation tend to have lower income and physical or mental health problems. They also often live alone, have disabilities, and have been the victims of abuse. The emotional toll is immense. But in financial terms, loneliness costs the US economy around $406 billion per year, while social isolation costs it another $6.7 billion annually.
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“I have experienced feelings of loneliness and moments in which I’m alone, and there is a definite difference between the two,” Isaiah, who created the viral thread, opened up to Bored Panda.
“For example, have you wanted to be within proximity of a company while maintaining your choice of personal space? My answer to that question would be yes, a hundred times yes! And that, to me at least, is the difference between being alone and being lonely. A person who is lonely is too alone, yet they are on a spiritual, mental, and physical spectrum.
We asked Isaiah for his perspective as to why so many of us are so quick to judge each other. “The reason people are so quick to judge the next person's difference is usually due to a seemingly endless search to find the difference within self or they have recognized the difference within themselves and have not learned to appreciate it,” he shared his point of view.
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“We are all books whose stories cannot and should not be plagiarized! Our differences are all various shades of various colors splattered across this blank canvas we call EXISTENCE, and those differences are what make us unique masterpieces to be admired in the gallery of LIFE.”
In the meantime, the author of the viral thread shared his thoughts on how everyone can become more tolerant and understanding. “The only way I see us becoming more tolerant of one another would be to show more concern toward our fellow human and to show more compassion for our fellow human,” he told Bored Panda.
“We are all trying—some harder than others—but nevertheless, we are all trying. Whether it is trying to fit in, trying to stand out, trying to be the best version of ourselves, or maybe just trying to be better than we were a second, minute, hour, day, week, month, or year ago…WE ARE ALL TRYING!”
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