A couple of months ago, Nigel Ng, the Malaysian comedian better known as his alter ego, Uncle Roger, opened his first UK restaurant in the heart of London’s Chinatown. He’s a man who has built a global YouTube following of more than 10 million subscribers via pithy, endearing videos on how, for example, to make exemplary fried rice, not to mention why Jamie Oliver’s take on that classic dish turns his stomach. Big numbers such as “more than 10 million” make investors very excited, not least because 10 million viewers might potentially equal 10 million bums on seats eating “Chinatown fried rice”, which at Kawan comes with crispy XO chilli and Cantonese lap cheong, and costs £15.90 a bowl. What’s 10 million multiplied by £15.90? OMG! £159,000,000!! Everyone’s a winner. Let’s open a novelty restaurant! It is wonky business logic such as this that has led to Kawan.
On a Thursday lunchtime, six weeks after opening and with Roger having long since had his photo taken on the steps and already departed, Kawan is largely deserted, other than its poor staff, who are pleasant as heck, but who have about them the air of stewards rearranging the Titanic’s sun loungers. There are precisely zero avid Gen Zers queuing to spend their money on the “firecracker rolls”, and no Gen X parents handing over their hard-earned to please their Uncle Roger-addicted offspring with the barbecued pork “aji-no-bun”. What few customers there are, meanwhile, are mostly couples in their mid-40s peering at the “choco-orange ribs” glazed with orange and chocolate, then wok-seared, and “inspired by Uncle Guga”, who is, apparently, one of Roger’s collaborators. That’s just one problem with creating a restaurant out of in-jokes: it’s like being handed a succession of phones showing memes you don’t understand. Or, worse, memes that you thought were funny nine months ago, but are now photocopied in the parish newsletter.
