CONTENT WARNING: This article discusses rape.
During this week’s Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season three reunion, Jessi Ngatikaura shared a deeply personal and painful revelation — opening up about being raped when she was 19 years old.
The 33-year-old reality star, who appears on the Disney+ hit alongside her husband Jordan Ngatikaura, spoke about how therapy helped her uncover the memory while she and Jordan were working through their marital struggles.
“I’ve been doing a lot of therapy because of mine and Jordan’s situation,” Jessi said during the December 4 reunion special.
“I actually uncovered the memory that I was raped when I was 19.”
Jessi explained that confronting that trauma helped her understand why she’s struggled with emotional detachment in her relationship. “It really started a lot of my issues, about going emotionally numb and pushing people away and feeling not good enough,” she continued. “And after uncovering that… me and Jordan already had our struggles, but that made them worse.”
The conversation came up as Jessi praised her co-star Mikayla Matthews, who previously shared that she suffered sexual abuse as a child until she was 15. Jessi said watching Mikayla’s healing journey on Mormon Wives resonated deeply. “I actually loved watching Mikayla’s story because I knew that it happened to her,” she said.
“But seeing it play out, seeing her thoughts and feelings behind it, I can relate.”
She went on to say that she’s also faced challenges with intimacy since uncovering what happened to her. “I know exactly how you feel,” she told Mikayla during the reunion. “I don’t want [Jordan] to touch me, and it’s not his fault, but it’s so crazy how your body reacts. It’s not just your emotions, you know?”
Jessi’s openness added to an already emotional episode, where others — including Whitney Leavitt’s husband Conner — discussed how experiences of sexual abuse had shaped their relationships. Conner shared how his own trauma led to intimacy challenges and praised the women on the show for the patience and healing they’d cultivated.
The subject also struck a chord with fellow cast member Demi Engemann, who became visibly emotional during the conversation. Demi said the discussion was “triggering deep, deep wounds and things for me that I haven’t fully uncovered”, later adding, “Just listening to you guys talk about it is so sad… how many people in this room have experienced something like this to a degree?”
Earlier this year, Demi had accused Vanderpump Villa’s Marciano Brunette of sexual misconduct — allegations he denied — and said the reunion’s discussion “triggered a lot of really horrible things that have happened in my life”.
For Jessi, the moment seemed to mark a continuation of her public healing, following a year that saw her navigate relationship issues, an on-screen affair, and intense emotional reflection. “Watching [Mikayla]’s story, it just really hit home for me,” she said. “I understand fully how that can feel.”
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