“SORRY FOR HAVING GREAT TITS AND CORRECT OPINIONS.” Not my words, readers (although, having said that …), but the words of a sweatshirt worn across the aforementioned acclaimed rack of Sydney Sweeney last year, shortly after some madly overheated controversy or other involving the Euphoria/Anyone But You star. I forget which controversy. Like Marvel movies, too many Sydney Sweeney controversies were made, and they all seemed to connect to each other in ways no one but the truly initiated could understand, so now only the saddos turn out for each and every one.
You might dimly be aware there’s another one going on at the moment, following Sydney’s participation in an American Eagle denim advert – a fashion retail event which obviously spiralled into some fatuous blue jeans/red state flame-war that has seen deranged TikTokers claim something about “eugenics”, the president trouser-rubbingly decide he likes Sydney Sweeney and American Eagle shares climb 23% in a week. Tell me the US will still be Earth’s dominant superpower in 30 years because I simply DON’T want to hear anything else. This is the behaviour of a culture with legs. (And a perfect ass, sorry if you can’t handle it.)
