‘It was soul destroying’: men on the struggle to get answers about infertility

Toby Trice had suicidal thoughts before receiving his eventual varicocele diagnosis, which can be treated with routine surgery. Photograph: Christian Sinibaldi/The Guardian

After six years of trying for a baby and two failed rounds of IVF, Toby Trice found himself at his “lowest ebb”, feeling “lost, lonely and alienated from society”.

“We were in this dark phase of not knowing where we were at. All our friends and family around us had children and we were constantly reminded we couldn’t. It was soul-destroying.