‘Is Santa Claus not real?’ my daughter asked. I froze like Rudolph in headlights

‘How had we ever fallen prey to this Ponzi scheme of Christmas delight? And yet, I was just as urgent to recruit her to the ruse. “It’s very important”, I whispered, “that you don’t tell your brother.”’ Photograph: Alamy

I don’t know how I expected this seminal conversation with my daughter to go, but I know it wasn’t like this.

For a start I was, if not hungover then at least very tired. I’d been to a poker night the previous evening. It wasn’t wild - I’m a father of two in my 40s, after all - but it was far enough removed from my usual collapsing onto the couch that I was not exactly chipper on this rainy Saturday morning. My wife didn’t summon much sympathy, though, as she kissed me goodbye and headed off on her girls night away.