On Christmas Eve 2017, I told my wife that, eight years into a successful 10-year music career, I wanted to quit and tell jokes instead. She told me she supported me and – crucially – that she believed I was funny enough to make a go of it. I was elated … until we pulled a cracker and she almost died laughing at the joke inside. Fair to say her comedy barometer was a bit buggered.
I recorded music for a decade under the stage name Tall Dark Friend. Don’t ask me what it means – I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. Seven albums, two European tours, a proverbial “shelf of awards” (the awards were real, I just never got around to putting up an actual shelf) – and no plan B. Everything culminated in a memorable stint on The Voice in 2016, signing to a label, bringing out a rubbish single, being unceremoniously dropped from said label, and dragging my arse across the Pride circuit for a year as my heart scabbed over. I turned my head one day to find the muse on my shoulder had long since flown away.
