My husband and I used to be great conversationalists, but after having our daughter three and a half years ago, our chat is almost exclusively schedule based. “What are your movements this week?” has become our most-used phrase, along with “Your turn to do the nursery pick up tonight?” And while we’re both very much aware that this is, like our toddler’s tantrums, “just a phase”, we used to love nothing more than a rambling chat that travelled here, there and everywhere, and I miss that about us.
And we’re not alone. Some studies suggest that 80 to 90 per cent of new mothers feel lonely after giving birth, with many spending hours of the day disconnected from other adults. Unfortunately, for some, that disconnect continues as their babies grow and they adapt to their new normal. I certainly found it difficult to go from babbling baby talk (or worse, silence) to thrilling conversation the minute my husband returned from work, and it’s something I feel that I’ve struggled with ever since; I seem to only have space in my mind these days for discussions about timetables. Which is hardly the key to an enriching tête-à-tête.
