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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Comment
Adrian Chiles

I’ve wasted 7,300 hours lazing in bed in the morning. Why can’t I just get up?

Woman sitting up in bed and rubbing her head
‘It’s not just me. I’ve checked it out with two young people.’ Photograph: Olga Rolenko/Getty Images (posed by a model)

I thought I would get up early to write this, like I think I’ll get up early to do something every morning. I set the alarm, full of sincere intentions, but when it goes off I just lie there for about half an hour. It has been this way every morning for 40 years. I’m not resting, I’m not rising, I’m not doing anything worthwhile, unless you consider doomscrolling while listening to the radio worthwhile.

What an appalling waste of time. Forty years multiplied by 365 days multiplied by 30 minutes comes to 438,000 minutes, which is 7,300 hours, or 304 days. Scandalous. Nigh-on a year of my life thrown away neither sleeping nor doing anything useful.

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