How do Hollywood’s elite dine? Usually, celebrities in London can be spotted in flashy venues with big names – Isabel, Soho House, Annabel’s and Nobu are all places to see and be seen. But I always imagined that a true A-lister would prefer a more low-key spot, hidden away from prying eyes. Perhaps someone with the mystery and debonair of, say, Idris Elba could show me the way.
Conveniently, the Luther star has his own wine bar and restaurant that fits the bill. Porte Noire, located at the bottom of one of the striking gasholders in King’s Cross, can hardly be called a “hidden gem”, but it feels suitably tucked away because it faces the canal instead of the thronging crowds in Coal Drops Yards.
Opened by Elba and David Faber, the founder of Connaught Wine Cellars, the venue is an extension of the pair’s wine and champagne brand of the same name.
A word of advice: if you, like me, rely on Citymapper to get you around the city – don’t. It took me in completely the wrong direction and landed me in front of random empty shoplots on the edge of the Yard.
Instead, Google Maps is your friend and actually knows where the gasholders are. It took me an additional 10 minutes to find the restaurant after getting thoroughly lost on a blustery day, which meant I arrived on its doorstep harried and windswept.
But my stress over being late for my reservation was put to rest as I entered the serene bar and was greeted warmly by the maître d’. After composing myself at my table, I realised I was surrounded by tech and finance bros, all bro-mancing one another over glasses of wine and charcuterie boards under low lighting.
A feature wall spanning nearly the entire length of one side of the restaurant is covered in a dark, swirly texture, which resembles quicksand and seems a bit ominous in what is an otherwise cosy place.
Despite my imaginings that a Hollywood star would have the good sense to have good taste in food, the meals at Porte Noire are somewhat disappointing. The waiter tells me most dishes are for sharing, but the moules marinières and leg of guinea fowl with sauce forestière (a French creamy mushroom sauce) were definitely single portions.
The duck liver parfait, while presented rather beautifully, is so cold and surprisingly bland.
Most things are just OK. I am disappointed, given Elba’s lyrical waxings about food in the past. He has spoken about his love for African and Caribbean food, which are characterised with spices and strong flavours. The actor named sweet potato leaf stew cooked by his mother as his “absolute favourite”, as well as escovitch fish (spiced, fried fish with vegetables) and festivals (Jamaican deep-fried sweetened bread). I expected a man with such vibrant taste in food to ensure his restaurant would also serve up some delicious morsels – but was left wanting in this department.
However, I will certainly commend the wines. Porte Noire boasts a collection of 800 wines that are available for diners to enjoy.
As someone whose only rule about wine is “if it’s put in front of me, I’ll drink it”, I tend to rely on the sommelier’s expertise for a good glass. In this regard, Porte Noire delivered – their expert sommelier was thoughtful with his selections, placing several different glasses of wine in front of me and hitting the mark each time. It was genuinely delightful to watch a master at work.
While I would personally not be back the food– except maybe for a cheese board next time – the wine menu is stunning and worthy of a return trip. By London standards, the prices were not outrageous, with the cheapest glass of bubbly setting you back £15. Cocktails are a little more spenny at an average of £14.50 each.
But if I was in the area and gasping for a nice glass of wine in a relatively quiet spot, I would come here. Maybe I’ll see Elba next time and I can ask him to zhush up the menu, once I get over being starstruck.
Porte Noire, Gasholder 10, Unit A, 1 Lewis Cubitt Square, N1C 4BY, London | 020 3479 1914 | portenoire.co.uk
