I've used Windows PCs for most of my life, and I've tested some of the latest laptops from the most reliable brands for the last half-decade. Even before that, I worked in retail, specifically advising on laptops and helping people spend their money where it makes the most sense. So, despite spending most of my time on desktop PCs, I'm savvy with laptops.
For the most part, my criteria for choosing a laptop relate to how well it travels with me. I take regular trips by plane, train, and car to work from hotels and conventions, all with their own limitations and considerations, which has narrowed my list of must-haves to seven non-negotiables. If you're considering a new Windows laptop, this is what matters the most to me.