Remi Pennington was deeply in love with her husband but found herself desperately searching for excuses to avoid getting intimate with him.
It all started when the 60-year-old began experiencing excruciating pain every time they had sex - a condition called dyspareunia - which left her bleeding and sore for days.
She put the issue down to their long-distance relationship as she lived abroad in Kuwait for work.
But it wasn't until she returned home to Kent during the pandemic that she realised the cause of her painful sex was down to the menopause.
She has since received treatment and now wants more women to feel confident about talking about the symptom that she was previously too embarrassed to raise.
Remi's menopause symptoms began with hot flushes in her early fifties - which at the time she thought was just because of the scorching temperatures of Kuwait in Western Asia.
The now-property developer moved there 10 years ago for her job as a fashion buyer and merchandiser, and her husband, Josh Joseph, 63, also joined her.
However he returned to the UK a year later as he struggled to find regular work, a move which coincided with their problems in the bedroom.
"As time moved on, as we had sex, it became painful," Remi told the Mirror.
"I thought it was because we only saw each other every six weeks and that it was difficult to get back into it again. But it got progressively worse.
"When I got to 55, it was really painful and I just didn't want to have sex.
"When I'd come back to the UK on business and stay in a hotel, I used to make excuses for him not to stay with me."
Remi would say it was against company policy for Josh to stay the night, but also avoided staying over at their apartment in Kent.
Her husband of 12 years took it personally and felt rejected.
But he also didn't want to see his wife in pain, and set out to find a solution.
"I'd bleed, and feel sore for days after. I just did not enjoy it, it was excruciating," Remi explained.
"I didn't want to be affectionate towards him because I didn't want it to lead to sex.
"We would do it once every six weeks when we saw each other or if we were on holiday together, we'd do it once then it would be too painful."
The rift continued for a few more years, and even though they knew Remi had a problem, it wasn't spoken about.
After seeing an advert, he then suggested she seek advice from menopause expert Maryon Stewart - who specialises in the field of non-drug medicine and has her own clinic.
Remi put off seeking help until she returned home amid the pandemic in 2020, when her menopause symptoms came to a head.
They became more noticeable - and included brain fog, hot flushes, heart palpitations, and her periods stopped altogether.
She decided to finally enrol on one of the online programmes offered by Maryon's clinic to help with painful sex, and came to realise the cause of her pain.
"There is no other reason for it but the menopause," Remi said.
"Your hormones change, the lubrication isn't the same. I knew it was that."
Maryon then recommended the Joylux x Issviva Device - which is a world-first, home-use device which uses a combination of light energy from red and infra, thermal heat and vibration to help rebuild collagen, improve vaginal tissue laxity, prevent incontinence and improve sexual function.
Remi started to use the device four times a week, and after 12 weeks, she really noticed an improvement in how comfortable sex was becoming.
Two years later, she now uses it once a week and confirms that sex is no longer painful and is becoming more enjoyable.
"Now we don't have to use lubricants and there is no pain," Remi assured.
"I can still be up in my own head, it takes me time to relax after what has happened. Slowly but surely we are getting there."
Despite the £299 price tag, Remi says it has been worth every penny and that it has done wonders for her marriage, bringing them closer together again on an emotional level too.
"We didn't really talk about it in depth. I wasn't saying how I really felt," she reflected.
"But now we've opened up a lot more. We wouldn't have spoken about it if we hadn't come out the other side, it was unspoken yet we knew I had a problem."
She hopes to encourage more menopausal women to talk about the issue to raise awareness and seek support.
"It's really important," Remi added.
"I've spoken to my friends about it and said I wish I'd have known someone going through it and was open about it when I was.
"A lot of women go through it but just don't talk about it. So I'm telling all my friends to do something, get help.
"Don't just get HRT, there are other treatments. Speak to as many people as you can and do as much research as you can."
Miranda Christophers, sex and relationship expert for online menopause platform, Issviva, commented: "People often think that their changes in desire are just about the hormones.
"This plays a huge part in it, but there is more to sexual desire than that, and that is thinking about how somebody feels about themselves, how they feel about their relationship, how they feel about the process that they're going through.
"We do need to think about that both in terms of the body and the mind.
"Some of the physical symptoms of menopause that affect the vagina and the vulval area include the shortening and the narrowing of the vagina, the reduction in elasticity, and the thinning of the skin, which can affect the external area of the vagina of the vulva also. And with that, women can find that they get tears and some bleeding and discomfort.
"Some people find that they find sex very painful. It can be very uncomfortable. They can find penetrative sex particularly difficult. One of the other symptoms can for some people be UTIs and an increase in bacterial vaginosis due to the changes in acidity in the vagina.
"And one of the very common symptoms of menopause is vaginal dryness. So really notice the difference in terms of the environment within the vagina and the lack of natural lubrication that may have been there previously."
For more information on dyspareunia, please head to the NHS website here https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/why-does-sex-hurt/.
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