Dear Coleen
I split with my husband just under a year ago. It was completely my decision and I’d been unhappy in the marriage for some time.
I was sick of feeling undervalued, unattractive and doing pretty much everything for the kids, while he carried on like a single guy.
Anyway, I’ve found myself really missing him and I hate it! The longer I’m on my own, the more I think back to the marriage, and I miss family life and the social life we had as a couple.
I feel I should be moving on, but I just feel stuck.
Why do I feel like this? Please tell me it’s going to get better!
What would you tell this reader to do? Have your say in the comment section
Coleen says
I think you sound a bit lonely and it’s natural to miss the lifestyle and all the little things.
The danger is you start reminiscing – you’re sat on your own watching telly one night and suddenly you’re thinking about when you used to hold hands on the couch and would watch a movie together.
When someone’s out of sight, it’s easier to remember the good times and not the awful times that broke you up.
It’s OK to miss being part of a couple, but don’t miss him and the way your relationship was at the end – focus on the reasons why you split up.
Equally, don’t sit there wallowing, thinking: “Why isn’t my life moving on?” You have to make it move on – it doesn’t just happen, but it does get easier with time.
