It struck me recently that, as a woman in my 30s, I am almost never asked about my plans to have children. Even in the few instances I have been, the question arose naturally in a related conversation and each time, when I said “Oh I don’t think I want children”, the other person responded politely and didn’t push any agenda.
We could draw conclusions on what this says about other people’s impressions of my lifestyle or my mothering instincts. But let’s choose to see this anecdote in a positive light. I imagine that, even as recently as 10 years ago, I would have had to endure endless hectoring and intrusive comments about the so-called “biological clock”. Or about ending up lonely in my old age or having a life which feels somehow empty or unfulfilled, as if that never happens to people with children.
