One of the most joyous parts of pregnancy is finally telling your family and friends the exciting news that you're expecting a little one. However, some people may not be able to experience such a blissful journey.
One woman has admitted that she's fearful to share her pregnancy news with her gossipy mother-in-law as she may spill her secret. Taking to popular forum Reddit, the expecting mum-to-be admitted she wants to keep tight-lipped around her in-laws but let the rest of her family in on the expectant news.
Sharing the post to Reddit's 'am I being the a*****e' section, she questioned whether she was being unreasonable to tell her family and not her husband's mother.
She explained: "My husband's mother is extremely involved in her children's lives. Essentially she believes that she has a say in everything since they're her children. We do love her, but she can be a lot. Lots of unsolicited advice, pushy opinions, etc…
"We started to notice that she has been extremely gossipy - particularly about things that should not be shared. For example, we were told of a cousin's pregnancy having birth defects but were told not to tell anyone because she wasn't supposed to tell anyone.
"Another cousin was pregnant and ultimately miscarried, but this wasn't announced so we've had to act like we don't know. Another cousin got pregnant but didn't want anyone to know as it was early, her mom told my MIL (her SIL) and my MIL told us, again we were told to act like we didn't know. Luckily everything is on track with that one."
After sharing concerns with her mother-in-law that she didn't want her only pregnancy spilled, she failed to promise that she would keep it quiet.
The woman went on: "I mentioned that I hoped that when the day came for me to announce my own pregnancy, she would not tell others as it's something that my husband and I should enjoy and do ourselves. She said, 'it doesn't matter, because no one would tell you they already knew so it would be just as special to you'.
"I realised then and there that nothing we could do or say would prevent her from spreading the word before we were ready, and my husband agreed.
"Now we have found that we're expecting our first, and we're very excited. We are only six weeks into the pregnancy. I expressed a desire to not tell his mother until 12 weeks, and that I'd essentially like to tell her and then post it online within the hour. He was okay with that plan.
"However, I do want to tell my two sisters and my mother and father. They are extremely supportive people and I want to share this time with them. I would never worry about them telling anyone. He thinks that it would be wrong to tell my family and not his own, and his mother would never forgive us (me really).
"I said that his mother's inability to stop gossiping shouldn't prevent me from sharing with my family. I also said that he can tell his sister if he would like, as I know for a fact she will keep it a secret from her mom (she shared many of the same concerns).
"He said this is asking for problems because his mom will inevitably find out later that everyone knew before her. I agree that she will likely find that out, but I don't think that's our problem and she should understand why we kept it from her. His father would never side with us to keep the peace but definitely understands why we would do this."
Seeking advice, she asked: "Would I be the a*****e for hiding this from his mother but telling others in our family?"
Since posting, the woman's Reddit post has raked in over 400 comments to date - with hundreds of Reddit users sympathising with the mum-to-be.
One person wrote: "Your mother-in-law's refusal to keep a secret has nothing to do with your family's right to know what’s going on in your life and your right to have the support of your family during an exciting and also stressful time."
Meanwhile, someone else said: "Not the a*****e. Tell your family and don't feel guilty. When mother-in-law finds out that everyone knew before her, just tell her honestly that she has made it clear that she can't keep a secret and therefore the consequence is she will not be the first to know things."
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