Mothers are the core of many families. The things they do and the sacrifices they make for their spouses and children alike often go by unsung, as we all get pulled into the chaos of everyday life and can easily forget to pay proper attention to those around us.
As most would agree, Mother’s Day is a celebration that brings us back to those present moments and reminds us to celebrate these women who give us their all. However, as one Redditor shared, not everyone sees it that way. For example, her husband was slacking off the whole day, barely helping with any responsibilities before she lost it and sarcastically congratulated him on Father’s Day instead. Surprisingly, it got him mad. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Emotional abuse may not be as visible as its physical counterpart, but its damage is just as real, especially when it occurs in a family
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
A husband asked his wife to make the second half of her Mother’s Day breakfast and told her that he needed to go to the bathroom, but he went to sleep instead
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
When he came down several hours later, the woman was doing a mountain of dishes, but instead of helping, he insisted she help him make a grocery list
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
The man wouldn’t let up despite his wife’s reaction and decided to call her out on it when she finally did come over, but when she told him how she felt, he got defensive
Image credits: Jep Gambardella (not the actual photo)
When the woman lost it and sarcastically congratulated her husband on Father’s Day, he got mad and refused to get the ingredients, only buying food for himself and their kids
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
The woman later shared that Mother’s Day was no exception to her husband’s behavior, and she has dealt with emotional abuse for a while
Image credits: Temporary_Try_737
She said that her previous escape attempts failed due to financial issues and manipulation, but she has since learned to stand up for herself and is far from giving up
The story began on a Mother’s Day morning. The OP’s husband and their kids went and got her a coffee and ingredients for her favorite breakfast. Then, the man went on to make half of the breakfast before asking the wife to take over with the other half, as he had to go to the bathroom.
She was fine with it until, nearly an hour later, she found him sleeping upstairs. He continued doing this for the rest of the afternoon, leaving the woman to deal with 3 loads of dishes alone, too. When he finally came down while she was in the middle of the task, he insisted she help him make a grocery list for the dinner despite knowing what was needed.
Seeing the OP’s frustration, her husband called her out, and she explained why she was feeling that way. However, instead of apologizing or having a normal conversation, the guy got defensive and told the woman to learn some patience.
At that moment, she lost it and calmly yet sarcastically congratulated him on Father’s Day. That was enough to set him off completely. The husband screamed, refused to get the ingredients, and only bought dinner for himself and their kids while giving his wife the silent treatment for the rest of the evening.
The commenters were shocked by the OP’s husband’s behavior. While some shared similar stories and advice, others asked her various questions, assuming that the main issue covered a lot more than just how this commercialized holiday went for her.
In the later updates, the woman answered some of the questions, confirming that this wasn’t as much about Mother’s Day as it was about how things are between her and her husband overall, adding that divorce is definitely on the table. She had already attempted to get away from him a few times before, but due to financial issues, her plans being revealed prematurely, and his manipulation, it didn’t work out.
The OP revealed that she had a new plan now and was planning on following it through this time around. In the meantime, she said that she started ignoring her husband’s requests about anything that didn’t directly involve their kids, resisting all his manipulation and gaslighting attempts. She told him that no matter how this worked out, they, together and individually, needed to go back to therapy. However, despite starting it, as of the latest update, there seemed to be no improvement.
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
While a lot more invisible than physical abuse, emotional abuse is just as terrible. It is even worse when this kind of behavior comes from a person who is supposed to offer that one guaranteed safe space and instead turns into something you crave to escape.
According to Sherri Gordon of Very Well Mind, emotional abuse is a form of manipulation that can occur in any kind of relationship but most often happens in relationships and marriages. The abuser’s aim is to undermine the victim’s mental health and self-esteem, all while isolating them from those who could help them get out.
This type of behavior usually comes in a variety of forms, including, but not limited to, gaslighting, silent treatment, accusations of unfaithfulness, possessiveness, criticizing, withholding attention and affection, and trivializing the abused person’s concerns.
Most of these relationships begin looking completely normal, and if the abuser creeps up subtly enough, you may not even notice until you’re already in too deep. Over time, living in such conditions can cause various mental health issues, like depression, anxiety, insomnia, and eating disorders, which can easily translate into physical problems, too.
Dealing with it means recognizing the situation you’re in. From there, Sherri Gordon recommends making yourself a priority, establishing boundaries, stopping self-blame, avoiding engaging, and building a support network.
However, even all of that may not be enough if you don’t make a proper exit strategy, as the abuser will most likely try everything to keep you under their control. Leaving such a relationship, especially if it’s a marriage, can be hellish, but fortunately, there are people who can help.
According to an article on Burch Shepard Family Law Group’s website, emotional abuse classifies as domestic violence, which means that, in the majority of the world, it is illegal and punishable by law when proven.
While proving emotional abuse might be more difficult than physical abuse, it is far from impossible, especially since we live in a digital world where most things are recorded and easily kept. And, of course, you don’t have to fight this fight alone, as it is always wise to get help from a professional specializing in solving such problems.
Ultimately, no one deserves this kind of treatment, but sadly, life is anything but fair, and any one of us has a chance of ending up in such a situation. However, if it ever happens to be you, remember that you’re amazing, no matter what someone else says. Stand up for yourself, as the OP did, and go get that life you deserve!
What did you think about this story? Do you know any similar stories? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
The commenters bashed the woman’s husband for his behavior while also sharing their own stories and advice that could help her situation
