A grieving husband whose wife took her own life following a decade-long battle with her mental health is determined to work through his pain to raise awareness and cash for charity. Andy Beresford is raising £30,000 in memory of his wife Michelle, who took her own life on March 1 last year aged just 39.
Andy, 53, said Michelle had a decade of "struggling really badly" with her mental health before she passed away, and would find going out to social events difficult. Despite her pain, Andy said his beloved wife would put on a "game face" and would appear to be the "life and soul of the party" while struggling inside.
Andy, who co-founded his business Home Leisure Direct with Michelle back in 2007, said it is important to him to raise awareness of how mental health problems can appear from the outside, the Mirror reports. "There was two sides to Michelle. In a public situation, she was the life and soul of the party and always laughing, making quick-witted jokes," Andy said.
"She was the one that would get everyone up dancing and doing shots. Everybody would always say, 'wow, Michelle is so fun'.
"Behind-the-scenes, she was really nervous about social events and wouldn't want to go out. When she did, she'd put on a game face and have a great time.
"But when she'd get home, she'd be exhausted and go into a shell, taking a couple of days to recover from the social engagement."
Towards the end of her life, Michelle stopped going out and took up gardening instead, growing many different varieties of tomatoes. Andy says he is reminded of his wife's beautiful personality every single day, both at home and at work.
"Everything reminds me of her - pictures and furniture we bought together and places we've visited together," Andy said. "I still get emails from people trying to contact her at work, it's a constant reminder.
"The most difficult part has been not having her here to talk to. She'd sit on the other end of the sofa and make comments about what's on TV.
"The world is not the same without her. It's very different and quiet without her sense of humour."
Andy describes his wife of 12 years as "one of the strongest, most amazing people" and said she loved seeing the world and trying new foods. "Michelle was a real foodie and a great cook, and she loved going to nice restaurants too. She particularly enjoyed Japan and we loved Hawaii," he said.
Michelle was a wife, daughter, sister, aunt and dear friend to so many, but sadly she couldn't overcome her mental health struggles.
"We tried different practitioners, doctors and therapists, and some very advanced work with the NHS, but within six months, she spiralled," Andy said. "It always crosses my mind, 'Is there something else I could have done?', but I did so many things to try and help her."
Sharing his advice for people who have loved ones that are struggling, Andy said: "Don't beat yourself up because it's not your fault. It's very easy for you to think that their poor mental health is because of something you haven't done."
Andy is urging anyone who is experiencing mental health problems to get in touch with Mind - as "they should always be the first point of call".
In honour of Michelle, Andy is raising £30,000 for the mental health charity through a string of different events and challenges. He has already managed to raise £10,000 through taking part in a Tough Mudder event and a fundraiser at the World Darts Championship.
This month, his close colleagues will have a 24-hour Poolathon with Ben Flack, a previous European and World Champion, and do a 10-person, 15,000-ft skydive. If you would like to donate to Andy's fundraising, you can visit his Just Giving page, give money towards his skydive or get involved with the Poolathon.
