Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump’s nomination of Dr Mehmet Oz to his administration, and the ongoing scandals around his attorney general pick, Matt Gaetz.
Stephen Colbert
Donald Trump “is continuing to shovel steaming piles of nominee into his cabinet”, said Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s Late Show. On Tuesday, Trump announced the pseudoscience advocate and former TV host Mehmet Oz as the administrator of Medicare and Medicaid. “OK so he’s still just picking people he sees on TV,” said Colbert. “Next up, the head of Amtrak goes to Thomas the Tank Engine.”
In his announcement, Trump noted that Oz won nine daytime Emmy awards for hosting The Dr Oz Show. “I didn’t know winning TV awards qualifies you to administer our medical system,” Colbert noted. “I’ve never heard anyone yell, ‘This man is having a heart attack! Quick, does anyone here have an outstanding achievement in formative daytime talk?’”
If Oz is confirmed, he would oversee Medicare, Medicaid, the Children’s Health Insurance Program and the Obamacare marketplace exchange Healthcare.gov, “which under Dr Oz will be replaced with 10tipstoblastbellyfat.biz”, Colbert quipped.
Oz, Colbert reminded his audience, spent years on TV “peddling quack medical treatments”, including the debunked cure-all colloidal silver, which if taken in high qualities can cause a permanent bluish-gray discoloration of the skin. “So seniors, you may lose your Medicare, but maybe your grandkids will want to visit Nana Smurf,” Colbert joked.
Along with Oz, Trump has also nominated the television hosts Sean Duffy for secretary of transportation and Pete Hegseth for secretary of defense. As Colbert observed: “Everyone with a TV show gets a call! Where’s my job offer?”
Colbert proposed a deal to Trump: “I will stop talking about you altogether if I get an ambassadorship. But I mean a good one.” As in, “any country that is mentioned in the song Kokomo”.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host lamented unfinished justice for Trump. “Four indictments, 34 felonies, an insurrection, the fake electors, the ‘find me 11,000 votes call’, the classified documents in the men’s room – he got away with all of it. It’s like Shawshank without the redemption.
“For a criminal mastermind who weaponized the justice department against Donald Trump, Joe Biden really dropped the ball on this one,” he added. “It’s like nothing ever happened at all.”
Even worse, Trump is now receiving intelligence briefings again. “So if you’re staying at Mar-a-Lago and you’re wondering why the toilets are all clogged – that’s why,” Kimmel quipped.
“America is once again sharing its most delicate intelligence with its least delicate and dumbest man,” he continued. “How do you brief someone who already knows everything? Giving Donald Trump intelligence briefings is like giving trombone lessons to a goldfish. There’s no point to it.”
Kimmel then turned his attention to Trump’s pick for attorney general, Matt Gaetz, who was under investigations by the House ethics committee over accusations of illicit drug use and having sex with a minor before resigning shortly after his cabinet announcement. Now, the House speaker, Mike Johnson, is advocating for the committee’s report to stay under seal, because Gaetz is a “private citizen”.
“He became a private citizen five days ago when he resigned specifically to avoid you releasing the results of the investigation!” Kimmel fumed. “Somebody needs to put Mike Johnson back in the tree he lives in and release that report, because the spinelessness is staggering.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers also touched on Johnson’s request for the House ethics committee not to release the report on Gaetz. “Though I’m sure if there’s anything in there, it’s minor,” he quipped.
In a new interview, Caroline Kennedy, US ambassador to Australia and JFK’s daughter, said her cousin Robert F Kennedy Jr held “dangerous” views on vaccines. “Relatable,” said Meyers. “Who among us doesn’t have a cousin with a dangerous view on vaccines?”
In other news, Joe Biden released a statement condemning a neo-Nazi march in Columbus, Ohio, “while Trump released a statement offering cabinet positions”, Meyers joked.
And the US Postal Service unveiled new stamps honoring the late Golden Girls star Betty White. “Now, you young people might not remember … but a stamp is like a sticker you put on mail to pay for its delivery,” said Meyers.
