Adult sex offenders are criminals who need to be brought to justice to maintain public safety. But we need to be careful about extending that same principle to children who hurt other kids. Most youth who exhibit problematic sexual behavior don't need punishment. They need help.
It's time for the public and our legal system to catch up with the growing literature on the causes of such behavior and how to stop it, rather than throwing the book at these kids and writing them off for good. In doing so, we can break cycles of trauma, reduce homelessness and incarceration and prevent the sexual abuse of children.
At first, parents may not know how to distinguish truly problematic sexual behavior in children and teens from behavior that is normal and developmentally appropriate.
Exploratory behavior out of mutual curiosity among children around the same age is fairly typical. Two six-year-olds playing "doctor" together is not, per se, cause for alarm. If it becomes planned, persistent, coerced, aggressive or happens between children of disparate ages or developmental levels, however, that's different. A 12-year-old "playing doctor" with a 4-year-old requires intervention.
If a child's actions are cause for concern, parents may not know what to do. They may wonder if their child has been a victim of sexual abuse or if there's something they have been missing for years. They may question whether their child is dangerous or beyond help.
But the reality is that problematic sexual behavior as a kid isn't predictive of adult sex offenses — in fact, 97% of children charged with sexual offenses never offend again. And while some children who engage in problematic behavior have experienced abuse themselves, many have not.
We should treat youth with these behaviors with the same nuance, care and attention we use to address mental health struggles in kids.
Youth have the best outcomes with evidence-based models, like cognitive behavioral therapy designed for problematic sexual behavior (PSB-CBT), that also engage parents or other caregivers and take past trauma into account. Treatment focuses on helping children build healthy communication and social skills, coping mechanisms and strategies for emotional regulation and impulse control.
Clinical research bears out the benefits of this approach. One study of youth ages 10 to 14 found that early intervention coupled with PSB-CBT therapy eliminated problematic sexual conduct 98% of the time. Another study of 5- to 12-year-old children with sexual behavioral problems found that just 2% of children who underwent cognitive behavioral therapy committed future offenses, compared to 11% of children who underwent group play therapy.
Therapy doesn't need to be a long-term, intensive endeavor. Most children stop exhibiting problematic sexual behaviors after three to eight months of outpatient treatment.
When we fail to recognize that most of these youth can go on to live lives both fulfilling and safe for others, we increase the chances that our criminal justice system will stigmatize them for good. Over 200,000 Americans are on sex offender registries for an offense they committed as a child — some as young as eight years old.
Research shows that placing children on such registries does not prevent or reduce sexual violence. But it's disastrous for their mental health and future prospects. Over 44% of registered youth go on to experience homelessness, according to a 2013 Human Rights Watch report. Nearly 85% experience serious mental health issues or thoughts of suicide. The social ostracism can be so severe that over half report vigilante-style harassment or physical violence directed at them.
Additionally, low-income youth, LGBTQ youth, and youth of color are disproportionately placed on these registries — in California, over 76% of youth on sex offender registries are kids of color.
Of course, there are instances in which kids and teens commit horrible crimes that demand court involvement. But these cases should be treated as the exceptions they are, not the rule.
If your child exhibits problematic sexual behavior or is a victim of such behavior, there are resources available to get help. Children's Advocacy Centers, a national network of care centers that support families impacted by child abuse, can help your family assess the situation and devise a plan to move forward.
Youth engaging in problematic sexual behaviors are not a lost cause. By quickly intervening and getting them treatment, we can help all kids thrive.
