My first push-up after a double mastectomy felt like snapping an ancient rubber band. The anticipation of resistance in my chest and arms, followed by an emptiness, a blank, an absence. For a moment I lay facedown on the bouncy black floor of the gym. I let out something between a laugh and a sob. And then I rolled over on to my back. After a moment or two, I realized it was the only way I could stand up. My arms had nothing to offer.
It had been about three months since my surgery. I had succeeded in my ambition of getting back to CrossFit. But something more than my breasts were missing.
