In a time of fear, heroes must rise. There’s a gathering storm rattling at the windows, tearing through the family WhatsApp groups. Use your air fryer instead of the oven. Book your summer holiday now to avoid spiralling flight costs. Colin, a caller on LBC, has heard a rumour (the radio phone-in equivalent of “forwarded many times”) that there are abundant oil and gas reserves off the Falkland Islands and wants the government to fund an expedition to go and get them.
Meanwhile, Ed Miliband has been on TikTok, patiently explaining to his 26,800 followers what the government is doing to protect you from the coming war-flavoured price shock. Energy bills are coming down in April. There’s a £50m heating oil fund for poorer households. Fuel duty is being frozen until September. There are unspecified “measures to advance our plans for clean power”. And, of course, the government is “working with our allies to bring this conflict to an end”, which definitely seems to be doing the trick so far.
