When you’re new to the neighborhood, being nice and trying to get along with others can significantly ease the transition and help you settle in.
However, Reddit user Kingofzdom has just learned that not everyone shares that sentiment. When a man from another state moved next door, he quickly expressed his displeasure over what he perceived as an encroachment on his property—a vehicle parked near the boundary was enough to set him off.
However, as the Redditor explained in his post on r/pettyrevenge, the situation changed when the authorities were called in.
It’s best to approach neighborly disputes with open communication, a willingness to listen
Image credits: Image-Source / Envato (not the actual photo)
But this man moved in and immediately started pointing fingers
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: kingofzdom
Fighting over property boundaries is one of the top reasons for neighborly disputes
Such conflicts are pretty common. According to a 2019 survey by FindLaw, 42% of Americans say they’ve been involved in a dispute with their neighbors, and the top reasons for them are:
- Noise (48% of all disputes). Whether it be from raucous late-night parties or maybe different sleep schedules that result in one neighbor waking up the other, noise is apparently the No. 1 way to annoy your neighbor.
- Pets and animals (29%). Pets and animals can be tricky to deal with directly, since it is the animal that is causing the problem and not the owner. But many times the issue stems from the owner’s failure to properly handle or train his animal.
- Children’s behavior (21%). Much like pets, children running onto your property, being loud, or defacing your property can often be the result of their parents — i.e., your adult neighbors — not properly looking after them. State laws may even hold the kids’ parents liable for damages.
- A visual nuisance, the property’s appearance, trash, etc. (18%). Many eyesores, such as unkempt lawns, offensive signs, or overflowing trash cans can lead to ill will between neighbors.
- Property boundaries (17%). In these types of disputes, neighbors often have misconceptions about where their property begins and ends.
Scott Wilson, a clinical psychologist and adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Teachers College Columbia University, says when you end up with a mix of people with unrelated lives right next to each other, the chance of conflict is pretty high.
But when you do end up having a spat with the guy or gal next door, it’s in your best interest to resolve it as quickly as possible. To do so, Wilson generally suggests these tactics:
- Avoidance. Sometimes both parties need time and space to cool down.
- Accommodation. Are you fighting because you really feel wronged? Or are you being stubborn? Sometimes being the bigger person and giving in is really winning.
- Competition. Standing your ground? Respect your neighbor’s right to stand theirs, too.
- Compromise. Sometimes, both parties need to make a sacrifice in the name of peace, quiet, and the greater good.
- Cooperation. An opportunity to work with your neighbor toward a mutually beneficial solution.
Of these strategies, cooperation is a good end goal to have, but it strongly depends on the situation, or how we prioritize our needs in relation to the other person’s needs, says Wilson.
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
And generally, people are pretty good at it. The aforementioned study also discovered that half (49%) of people choose a direct approach to settle neighborly disputes and have discussed the issue with them. As long as the issue is handled with caution and not delivered in a way that is combative or accusatory, people who live near each other are fairly understanding.
Then again, more than 1 in 4 (27%) say they’ve called the police, which can sometimes be inefficient, especially if no crime is involved. Another 15% have complained to their homeowners’ association or other neighborhood group.
Yet another way to resolve neighbor disputes is by sending a letter, note, or email, which 11% of survey respondents have tried.
The Redditor did have to involve call in the professionals, but it has bought more than one stress-free night, as noted by Point To Point Land Surveyors, a company that services a number of states in the southeast and mid-Atlantic regions, knowing where your property boundaries are will reduce the potential for future conflicts.
If the neighbor chooses to ignore the results, a land survey conducted by a verified professional is critical evidence of the legal boundary. If questions the boundary for whatever reason, it will be a priceless bargaining or mediation tool to, once and for all, resolve the conflict.
As the post went viral, its author shared more information on the conflict
People were glad that the newcomer got what he deserved
And some also shared their experiences with difficult neighbors
