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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Lifestyle
Kevin E G Perry

Golden Globes host Nikki Glaser played it just safe enough. It turned her into the night’s big winner

She may not have taken home the award for best stand-up comedy performance, but otherwise Nikki Glaser had a dream night at the Golden Globes.

The 40-year-old stand-up turned in a note-perfect performance as first-time host of the awards show, delivering a genuinely funny monologue along with playful skits like a musical number that saw her mash-up Wicked and Conclave: “You’re gonna be Pope-ular.”

Glaser did so by pulling off the delicate balance act of poking fun at some of Hollywood’s biggest names without bruising any egos - while toning down her typical risque quips. Her opening lines kept things general, making digs at weight-loss drugs and casting couch culture.

“Welcome to the Golden Globes: Ozempic’s biggest night!” she announced. “I’m Nikki Glaser and I’m absolutely thrilled to be your host tonight. I gotta say, this feels like I’ve finally made it. I’m in a room full of producers at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, and this time all of my clothes are on. It was worth it!”

“I’m not here to roast you,” she assured the assembled celebrities, claiming that together they’re so powerful they can do anything “except tell the country who to vote for.”

Nikki Glaser won praise as host during the 2025 Golden Globes. She played it fairly safe with her humor, and, in turn, won the night (Penske Media via Getty Images)

She then moved on to gently teasing stars like Eddie Redmayne (for appearing in a show about a hard-to-find hitman on Peacock, a hard-to-find streamer) and Martin Short (for showing up because there are cameras). If there was one joke that showed how provocative Glaser can be with the gloves off, it was when she segued from joking about Zendaya into a riff on disgraced music mogul Diddy.

“Zendaya, you were incredible in Dune,” she said. “Oh my God, I woke up for all of your scenes. You were so good... and Challengers, girl? Oh my God! That movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card, I mean seriously. I’m sorry, I’m upset too. The afterparty is not going to be as good this year, but we have to move on. I know a Stanley Tucci freak off doesn’t have the same ring to it. No baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil.”

Mostly, though, the gloves stayed on.

She joked about Timothée Chalamet’s wispy moustache (“Can I just say you have the most gorgeous eyelashes... on your upper lip”) and that even Bob Dylan had agreed that his vocal performance in A Complete Unknown was so accurate it sounded “absolutely horrible.”

The only film Glaser gave a real kicking to wasn’t nominated for a top award.

“You know, at Wicked some people complained that the movie was ruined by people singing,” she observed. “Then at Joker 2, some people complained that the movie was ruined by the images on the screen and the sounds that accompanied them. I'm sorry, Joker 2! Where's their table? Oh... they’re not here.”

In the end, though, Glaser’s gentle roasting proved to be just what the Golden Globes needed. She recently told Deadline that she hopes to host the awards show “year after year.” On tonight’s evidence, the smart move would be to give her a job for life.

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