Three rape survivors have waived their right to anonymity to tell their rapist 'you didn't win'.
MMA fighter Paul Callanin was convicted of sexually assaulting Danielle Barr, Alexandra Bhengu-Smith and Violet Fox, with the trio asking: "Why should we hide if we've done nothing wrong?"
Callinin 35, of Bonhill, near Dumbarton, was found guilty at the High Court in Glasgow earlier this month of raping his victims between 2005 and 2013.
Violet, 33, Alexandra, 31, and Danielle, 29, did not know each other before the trial, but have since formed a close bond. And they have vowed to use their friendship to urge other victims of sexual violence to come forward, reports the Daily Record.
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Danielle – who was 18 when Callanin raped her in the car park at Desire nightclub in Balloch and at a flat on Christmas Day in 2011 – said: “He didn’t win. This hasn’t defined me because I’ve made something of myself, but this will define him forever.
"I don't care how long he gets as he's labelled as what he is. He's guilty. That's all I needed. I just needed to be believed."
Recalling the attacks, she said: “I didn’t know of him at all until that night. I was raped at Desire and then he put me in a taxi and took me back to his and raped me again.”
Danielle reported it to police but nothing came of it until other victims’ stories began circulating on social media in 2020. She explained: “I was told, ‘You’re going to want to see this feed’, and I did. I realised the stories were quite similar to mine and I phoned the police.”
Despite the “hell” she endured, Danielle told how she hoped her story would inspire others not to suffer in silence. She has a career as a surveyor, adding: “Being a victim of sexual assault doesn’t mean you’re not going to become anything.
“I managed to go to university. Don’t get me wrong, I had two-and-a-half years of hell where I couldn’t leave the house. Meanwhile, I watched him go from strength to strength. All of a sudden he was everywhere. He was a fighter and he was in bands.”
She added: “To anyone affected, my advice would be to go to the police, but find some external support first. If you have a supportive family, speak to them. We’re here to listen, too. That’s why we are speaking out.”
Danielle’s found close bonds with Violet and Alexandra, adding: “It’s like having instant best friends because you don’t have to explain what you’ve been through. Trauma bonds people. And we’re not done yet. Good will come of this.”
Alexandra was just 14 when Callanin first attacked her. He then raped her when she was 21. She added: “We’re waiving our right to anonymity because we want people to know they should not be ashamed. Why should we hide because we’ve done nothing wrong? We just want to get that message out there.
“You don’t have to be ashamed. You have done nothing wrong.”
Speaking about her attacks, she said: “I was so young I didn’t fully understand. I felt like I had done something wrong because I had a boyfriend at the time. Years later, we ended up in the same friendship group and he pinned me down and raped me. I blocked it out.
“I didn’t know how to deal with it and ended up packing up and moving to Australia.”
Alexandra contacted police years later after finding out somebody else had reported him, saying: “It felt scary. Even though I knew another person had come forward, it was that fear of people asking, ‘why now’? The only time I felt relief was when I heard the guilty verdict. I sobbed with sheer relief.”
Alexandra was the first victim in the string of attacks. Callanin had denied the accusations at a trial. But the jury saw through his lies and convicted him of lewd and libidinous conduct against Alexandra as well as a separate charge of raping her.
He was found guilty of two rape charges involving Danielle and convicted of sexual assault and raping Violet. He will be sentenced at a later date. Alexandra hopes Callanin will receive a significant jail term, adding: “I want him to get a long time because he’s dangerous. He has shown no remorse for what he has done.”
Like Danielle and Violet, Alexandra has vowed to support other victims of sexual abuse. She said: “We’ve had people getting in touch with us for support and encourage others to get in touch.”
Looking to the future, she added: “I have anxiety and panic attacks. I still have to work on myself and try to heal from what I’ve been left with.
“But we’ve all got each other now. We’ve made friends for life and been bonded forever.”
Last week, Violet, who identifies as non-binary, said Callanin attacked them at their photography studio in Dumbarton before going on to rape them at a flat in nearby Renton, in 2013.
They said: “He pinned me to the floor and sexually assaulted me twice. He then took me to his flat where he raped me.
“He was a fighter and into MMA. I vividly remember struggling and shouting for him to stop when he was pinning me down and hurting me. I couldn’t get him off me. I remember him being so strong.”
They added: “He spent years terrorising women he’s been in contact with. He’s been stopped and is now where he belongs. I just want to put it out there to anyone else affected that I believe them, even if no one else does.
“When it comes to sexual assault or domestic violence or abuse, there seems to be a lot of shame on the victim so people don’t speak out.“
The Rape Crisis Scotland helpline is on 08088 01 03 02.
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