Forty names, games, teams and minutiae making news in college football (lawn mowers sold separately in Evanston, where come spring it might be time for the annual cutting of the grass at Ryan Field):
MORE DASH: Bama, Clemson Stumble | Playoff Paths | Coach of Year
FOURTH QUARTER
Just End It Already
It’s November, and your team stinks. How ready are you to be done with this season? The Dash identifies the most fed-up fan bases.
Miami (31). You might think Texas A&M is the most appalled by this season’s events, but at least the Aggies beat the Hurricanes back in September. Miami (4–5) is on a four-game home losing streak, its longest single-season skid since 1973, and hasn’t treated the home fans (such as they are) to a victory since Sept. 10. The Canes’ only wins since then were over the terrible twins from the commonwealth of Virginia (more on them below).
The wildly hyped Mario Cristobal debut season hit rock bottom at Hard Rock Stadium Saturday when rival Florida State blew out the Hurricanes 45–3, a game in which the Canes played three quarterbacks (standout Tyler Van Dyke aggravated a previous shoulder injury and left in the second quarter). Miami hasn’t scored a touchdown in nine quarters.
Texas A&M (32). The Aggies (3–6) and their superstar recruiting class that they absolutely did not buy went oh-for-October and have now started November 0–1. It’s the program’s first five-game losing streak since 1980. At least one SEC West nightmare will end (or, more accurately, briefly be interrupted) Saturday when A&M meets Auburn, which is on a five-game losing streak of its own. But at least Auburn has lit the pilot light of hope for 2023 by firing its coach, while the Aggies remain stuck with Jimbo Fisher and his mega-contract.
After underachieving and injuries and suspensions, A&M added a new wrinkle to the misery Saturday against Florida with an illness that sidelined six players and left several others depleted. Fans ready to fast-forward from now to December signing day got this news update Monday: five-star Class of 2023 linebacker Anthony Hill has decommitted.
Jerome Miron/USA TODAY Sports
Oklahoma (33). At 5–4 overall, 2–4 in the Big 12, the Sooners need to win out to avoid their first losing conference record since 1998. Meanwhile, Lincoln Riley is 8–1 in Los Angeles—not that the Oklahoma fans have noticed or care, of course. In a 38–35 loss to Baylor Saturday, Dillon Gabriel marred what has been a good season for him by throwing three interceptions in his first 22 attempts. And the defense that Brent Venables has been unable to fix allowed more than 400 yards of offense for the fifth time in six league games.
West Virginia (34). The only thing keeping Mountaineers fans going at this point in a 3–6 season is the angry hope of seeing fourth-year coach Neal Brown fired. But that would be expensive, since Brown received a contract extension in April 2021. No Big 12 team has given up more points per game than WVU’s 34.2, and the three remaining opponents can all score (Oklahoma, Kansas State, Oklahoma State).
Arkansas (35). The Razorbacks (5–4) have lost at home to Hugh Freeze’s Liberty and nearly lost at home to Bobby Petrino’s Missouri State, which is a lot of angst for fans to go through at the hands of coaches with baggage. They also watched their team give up an 82-yard fumble return that helped turn a win over Texas A&M into a loss; two fourth-quarter touchdown runs of longer than 70 yards by Alabama; and a beatdown at the hands of Mississippi State. The Hogs still can play SEC West spoiler against LSU this week and Mississippi next, but the fans might be ready to get on to a men’s basketball season that is loaded with promise.
Indiana (36). Don’t give Hoosier Nation an excuse to quit early on football and adjourn to basketball, because they’ll take it. Indiana (3–6) is on a six-game losing streak, with Ohio State up next to terminate any remaining bowl hopes. The belief that Tom Allen was a program savior worthy of a significant extension signed in 2021 is looking like an expensive miscalculation: after going 13–7 in 2019 and ’20, he’s 5–16 since. Indiana’s men’s basketball team opened its season Monday night.
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State of Virginia (37). The Virginia Cavaliers are bad (3–6). The Virginia Tech Hokies might be worse (2–7). Their game Nov. 26 in Blacksburg probably will be for sole possession of last place in the ACC Coastal, which is a sad and lonely place to be. Both programs brought in first-time head coaches, and let’s just say that neither has gotten their feet under them yet.
Coach Who Earned His Comp Car This Week
Marcus Freeman (38), Notre Dame. He got his first truly big win as a head coach Saturday, an unexpected walloping of Clemson that puts a different aura on Freeman’s debut season. There have been some bleak moments, with home losses to Marshall and Stanford, but the Fighting Irish are now 6–3 and have more to play for in terms of bowl location and making an impact on the College Football Playoff. After severely damaging the Tigers’ playoff hopes, they could terminate USC’s later this month.
Coach Who Should Take the Bus to Work
David Shaw (39), Stanford. The situation has gotten sad in Palo Alto, where a highly respected coach is deep into a tailspin that doesn’t show any signs of stopping. The Cardinal are 3–6 and coming off a home humiliation at the hands of Washington State, losing 52–14 after falling behind 42–7 at halftime. A visit to Utah Saturday should cement a third losing season in the last four. Stanford wants no part of firing Shaw, but going forward with him isn’t an exciting option at this point, either.
