Three years after living with Laura, a parent and child foster carer, mum Andi and her toddler Isla are now thriving.
Andi came into a parent and child placement after a domestically abusive relationship led to her two oldest children being removed from her care. Today, she believes that without the support of Laura and her husband Tom, Isla would not be in her care.
When she left her partner, she discovered that she was pregnant. Social Services were concerned she would return to the abusive relationship and were looking into her case and after learning about parent and child fostering, Andi asked Social Services for the chance to prove that she could look after her child safely.
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Andi said: "All the way through my pregnancy, there was a big grey cloud over whether I was going to be able to keep my daughter in my care or whether she was going to be removed. A week before I was due to go into the hospital, I found out that I was going into a parent and child placement. Believe me, that relief after having such a long and heavy pregnancy was what I needed the most."
Two days after baby Isla was born, Parent and Child Foster Carer Laura visited Andi in the hospital and the two women clicked straight away. Andi and Isla moved into Laura’s home after leaving the hospital.
They developed a trusting relationship with Laura encouraging Andi to ask questions, helping her to grow in confidence.
Laura said: "Andi was clear right from the start that she was glad to be coming into a placement. I remember her saying ‘thank you for giving me the opportunity’ and so I knew that she really wanted to do well and that’s why I went away feeling confident that this was going to work.
"For anyone coming into a Parent and Child placement, it can be daunting. I always say, don’t be afraid to ask questions. We very quickly got to the situation where Andi did trust me enough to ask questions and that made it a lot easier.”
Over time, Laura worked with Andi to help develop her confidence in her abilities as a parent, helping her bond with Isla and encouraging her to look at different methods and routines.
"Because of being judged and having two children removed from my care, in my head I believed I was a bad mother," Andi added.
"Deep in my heart, I knew I could do it. I just needed someone to give me that chance and to give me that courage because it had been squashed inside of me in so many ways. I’d missed out on many aspects with my children because I’d been in an abusive relationship. I’d missed out on pointers regarding how to read my child’s cues. I can remember Laura being there and trying to reassure me.
"Laura helped me understand how to calm Isla and how to work out what she needed. Those moments have stuck with me even though (Isla) is almost three years old. Laura’s help and discussing all of these things really helped me..
"I was extremely grateful. I still am. I look back and I think to myself how things could have been so different. The parent and child placement with Laura and Tom gave me an opportunity.
"My daughter would not be in my care if it wasn’t for them."
Throughout Andi’s time with Laura, her confidence grew. Nearly three years on, Isla remains in her care and is no longer on the Child Protection Register.
Andi regularly visits Laura and Tom, who describe her as their adopted daughter.
Laura added: "Fostering is a big commitment, but it’s a very rewarding experience. There's lots to consider but Barnardo’s will provide the training and support you need to make a difference.
"If someone has the time, the space and has it in their heart, reach out, investigate, get the information, go and do the training, and come and talk to some of us already doing it because that’s very helpful."
The leading children’s charity has launched its Fostering Focus campaign which is running throughout the month of January.
A Barnardo's NI spokesperson said: "Children have the right to the best possible start in life. But a growing shortage of foster carers here is leaving many children without safe and loving families.
"Fostering comes in all different shapes and sizes to fit your personal circumstances. One area in particular where there remains a shortage is parent and child foster care.
"There are several reasons why a parent and child cannot remain in their own home and may need to come into a setting where they can learn skills and get support from a fully trained parent and child foster carer.
"This can range from needing to learn skills in a nurturing and supportive environment, to concerns about a parent’s own self-care or needing a place of safety. This type of placement allows a parent to stay with their child while learning to cope with the demands of parenthood, supported in a secure setting."
Barnardo’s NI welcome passionate individuals from all walks of life to become foster carers.
If you are over 21, have a spare room, are a UK resident and have the time and commitment to support a child or a parent and child - you could be the special person they need.
To find out more about fostering visit barnardos.org.uk/foster.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
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